Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Praxis: Ah, I love the smell of butyric acid in the morning. It smells like - victory. Memories of Chemistry Lab and high school guerrilla warfare.

River Valley High School is a public high school in Caledonia, Ohio. It is the only high school in the River Valley Schools district. In the fall of 2003, a new campus was opened for students due to the possibility of cancer-causing chemicals on the old campus. . .

Infamous graduates

Michael Brian Vanderboegh, Class of 1970. Ex-communist, Second Amendment activist, militia leader, ATF gadfly and Christian libertarian rabble rouser who urged "modern day Sons of Liberty" to break local Democrat party headquarters in March, 2010 in reaction to the imminent passage of the Obamacare Law. Founder of the "Three Percenters," a group of militant firearm owners denounced by Bill Clinton in a speech at the Center for American Progress, 19 April 2010. "I cherish my time at River Valley, especially that spent in Conrad J. Floridia's chemistry class, where as a chem lab assistant I learned everything I needed to know about improvised explosives and butyric acid stink bombs." -- Wikipedia.

My old alma mater, River Valley High School, at its best perspective, viewed from a distance. Built on the site of a World War II POW camp and later, military depot trash pile.

I received an email from an Irregular who, for obvious reasons, shall remain nameless. He suggests that the Purple SEIU Thugbus would benefit from the application of a very mild acid called Butyric acid.

As it happens, when I was a young pup back in Marion, Ohio and, having reached a certain age of sly intelligence matched with immaturity and a bit of recklessness, I volunteered to be one of chemistry teacher Conrad J. Floridia's chem lab assistants, with results that are recalled by certain retired teachers and administrators to this day with flashbacks of post-traumatic stress.

From considerable experience I can say that butyric acid is very mild, but packs a wallop upon the olfactories with an odor combining the smell of a cocktail of rancid butter and vomit that has been left in a tightly-closed glass container to cook in the hot sun for three days. By scientific experiment, we high school guerrillas discovered that the only thing worse than butyric acid was burning egg albumin. Now the memory of THAT gives even me the shudders.

Anyway, if you are unfamiliar with the stuff, here is a brief description. I will only say that the laws regarding its tactical application have changed greatly since I was a sprout and I rather suspect that anyone caught squirting this stuff with a large gauge needle on the end of a syringe poked through the rubber window molding of a locked bus (yes, I do have a certain experience along these lines having once done a parking lot of new cars in this manner -- long story) would probably find themselves under arrest as a WMD terrorist. But I must confess the idea of hitting a Thugbus with BA does have a certain karmic charm.

An interesting item to add to 'enhance' the interior (think fabric) of a purple tour bus... guaranteed to gag a maggot... small quantity, less than 1/4 cup... known to cause widespread nausea...


Butyric acid is prepared on a large scale by the fermentation of starch or sugar. Fermentation uses microorganisms and takes place under conditions where there is no oxygen. It is the transformation of the glucose in these compounds to alcohol or butyric acid, in this case. The microbes gain energy from this process. Less energy is produced than if the compounds were transformed in the presence of oxygen.

Various species of bacteria produce butyric acid as a product of fermentation. They live in places where there is no oxygen, such as the rumen of cows and goats. This is a special digestive organ for degrading plant compounds that are extremely difficult to digest. Bacteria generate butyrate from the plant fibers consumed. Butyrate is also produced as a side product in marine sediments.

Bacteria that live in the human colon transform various fibers such as oat bran to a series of compounds, including butyric acid. This contributes to the foul smell of flatulence. People who consume a low carbohydrate diet have lower amounts of butyric acid in their colon. Some researchers think that butanoate protects against colon cancer; however, the evidence is mixed.

Butyric acid is a component of vomit. Its unpleasant smell has made it a useful stink bomb for non-lethal political attacks. It has been used to attack whaling boats and taint the whale meat, so that it cannot be consumed. It has also been used in a large number of attacks on abortion clinics.

Discretion in purchasing is recommended. Skunk-scent is probably as effective, less expensive, available where deer hunting scents are sold. Either can be safely carried and discharged from a (medium to large, hand concealable) hypodermic syringe, without the needle, easily available at a veterinary supply. Discreetly applied to a hostile crowd's clothing is also effective.


Female III said...


RJIII said...

Chrysler friction modifier for limited slip differentials has the same effect. Many a day that I had to ride in the back of the truck home after work.

Anonymous said...

Almost related:


prawns are easy hid in air intakes and soon stink. fishing maggots soon pupate to give clouds of blow flies. Silage effluent and bad silage are good sources of butyric acid. rotten milk too.

calcium carbide was always effective if someone was hung over, and ethanal was disgusting.

My speciality in school chemistry lessons involved nitrogen tri-halides. It only cost me an eardrum, so don't try at home.

Anonymous said...

There's a product called Bee Go that beekeepers sometimes use to drive bees from the supers they wish to harvest. Butyric acid anhydride as I recall. About $15 a pt. nasty stuff. In a convenient squeeze bottle.

Anonymous said...

I guess all great minds run in the same gutter, because I was talking to a friend about this yesterday, and we both thought it was a great idea.
Just think of some one walking through the rotunda in WI and squirting some of this on one, or two of the SEIU Thugs pants. Where ever they went the horrible smell would spread, till they dropped drawer and exposed their pimpled butts for the world to see.

I wonder if the same could be done at the gathering in Atlanta, GA?

Just a couple of random thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I just had another random thought. I wonder what the Purple Freedom Eaters bus, SEIU for the uninformed, would look like with a III% poster on it applied with baby formula?
As per Mike's earlier article it is very difficult to remove.

Again, this is just another random thought from someone upset the SEIU did not schedule pleasant meeting near Southern Kentucky.

TPaine said...

I was way ahead of you on this one, Mike. As a fan of Whale Wars, I thought the butyric acid attacks were very interesting. And would be especially effective in the tight confines of a bus. Only problem is finding a good local supply. As for the delivery "vehicle", those large turkey injectors are available everywhere, and hold a nice large quantity of liquid.

It would be plausible to disable the entire fleet of Thugbusses with less than a gallon of the stuff. (griming from ear to ear).

May I share this "possibility" with my readers on The American PAtriot? I'd hate to steal your thunder.

Anonymous said...

OK, so how do you make the stuff? That's just a matter of sheer curiosity, of course. :>)

This reminds me of what a (still good) friend of mine did to one of his roommates in college. There were 5 guys living in a house off-campus. One lived in the basement and used to like to bring his girlfriend there. OK, so far no problem. Except that her laugh was very loud, and sounded like Dino on the Flintstones.

Enter my friend. He put a carton of soon to go bad milk on the windowsill, and added a bunch of sugar. After about 2 weeks of sun, he took the (now very smelly) mixture down to the basement (without the roommate being there, of course), lifted the carpet and sloshed the whole thing under it. Not only did it stink to high heaven, but within a few days the number of roaches grew to biblical proportions. Exit stage left for the roommate and Dino. Yeah, they called in an exterminator and got the place cleaned, but those two never showed up again.

If only we could be so lucky with the SEIU types.

Jimmy the Saint said...

Put a raw chicken leg in a jar of milk. Let it sit for a couple of days.

That's all the stank you'll ever need.

Ironwill said...

An easier to purchase item is Liquid Ass. Yep. That's what it's called. They also have Barfume. Both powerfully foul smelling.



Dedicated_Dad said...

Once knew a very, VERY skanky female who took extreme, unsavory advantage of a very good man. Part of her ill-gotten gains were spent on a nice, new car of which she was said to be very, very proud.

SOMEONE - I'm told - opened said car on a hot summer morning and placed an open can of sardines under each front seat before sealing the car up again.

I'm told the smell - after roasting in the sun all that hot, humid day - was literally unbearable.

Further, I'm also told that it's literally impossible to get a smell like that out of upholstery fabric, foam, carpet and etc.

The best part was the poetic justice involved in having such a filthy, scabrous slut leave a stench of rotten fish behind everywhere she went...

It's been a long time since I smiled as much as I have in writing this...



rexxhead said...

Ethyl mercaptan is said to be the smelliest substance in the visible universe. Availability may be a problem ;-)

Skip said...

I guess just shootin' the sumbitches is off of the table....yet.

Anonymous said...

Several frozen chicken leg-quarters were slid down the heat/ac ducts of a neighborhood drug detox center right before it opened. Amazing how many flies were covering the windows each day. It took nearly 6 months for the chicken to finally disappear, guess those flies & maggots finally polished off all the chicken.

FBC said...

No one can ever prove how a dead rat or a dead cat got into somewhere, unless you tell them.

Kippers are good for sliding through grills and down the backs of seats and internal trim, but smoked and gutted fish are less plausibly deniable than furry vermin.

Anonymous said...

Durian fruit.

Check it out on wikipedia, then head for your nearest Chinatown and get some!

It tastes fantastic, but smells like fermented vomit.

In South East Asia, where it grows, there are laws banning people from carrying the fruit on public transport or taking them into public buildings.