'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence first - verdict afterwards.'
'Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having the sentence first!'
'Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.
'I won't!' said Alice.
'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice.
-- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter 12.
The Toys for Totalitarians program proceeds. It was first announced with the reproduction of my letter to Colorado Governor Hickenlooper in these pages last Saturday. Written on the 18th, it was consigned to the postal turtle only on the 21st by Priority Mail 2-Day (it wasn't until then that some kind soul sent me the subscription money to enable me to make the shipment. The USPS doesn't do charity). It should have arrived no later than the 24th. Indeed if you punch in the tracking number at the moment it shows "Expected Delivery Date: December 24, 2013." However, the last transaction on the USPS tracking report shows "Depart USPS Sort Facility Denver" yesterday, the 26th, with no time attached. The tracking number for those interested is 9114 9010 7574 2681 6282 87.
My present for Governor O'Malley of Maryland, "Póg mo thóin," was sent on the 23rd (USPS tracking number 2311 0770 0000 5589 7463) and arrived yesterday morning and was signed for, as noted in the post, by J. Sylvester at 10:54AM. The package for Governor Malloy went out at the same time (USPS tracking number 2311 0770 0000 5589 7470) and shows an expected delivery date of the 26th but unaccountably also shows the last activity was "Depart(ing) USPS Sort Facility, Birmingham, AL" on the 24th. Thus it is impossible to say where it is at the moment.
Yesterday afternoon I received this email:
From: Mary O'leary email@example.com
Sent: Thu, Dec 26, 2013 1:30 pm
Subject: ammunition sent to governors
I'm a reporter with the New Haven Register in New Haven, Ct., following up on the Dec. 24 posting on your blog warning that you plan to send more governors banned magazines in their states
Are you planning to send these to Gov. Dannel P. Malloy in Connecticut? Are there other officials on your list in Connecticut or other states?
Back in April when you addressed a crowd of gun rights activists at the state Capitol, you promised to smuggle in banned ammunition to Connecticut to pass out to some gun owners and then go have a pizza at Pepe's.
Were you able to do that?
Mary O'Leary 203-641-2577 (cell)
To: moleary13 firstname.lastname@example.org
Sent: Thu, Dec 26, 2013 1:47 pm
Subject: Re: ammunition sent to governors
"Are you planning to send these to Gov. Dannel P. Malloy in Connecticut? Are there other officials on your list in Connecticut or other states?"
The Christmas present to Governor Malloy is on track to deliver today. When I have delivery confirmation from CT later today I will send you a copy of the letter. Like the Hickenlooper letter, I had fun with it. Each letter and gift is tailored to the recipient. Yes, I sent other Toys for Totalitarians to other governors.
"Back in April when you addressed a crowd of gun rights activists at the state Capitol, you promised to smuggle in banned ammunition to Connecticut to pass out to some gun owners and then go have a pizza at Pepe's. Were you able to do that?"
Yes and no. Yes, after the restrictions went into effect in October (not July as I indicated in my speech, I was misinfp0rmed by one of the local folks in CT) I smuggled ammunition into CT along with more magazines, but no I wasn't able personally -- thanks to health issues -- to do it myself. Still looking forward to Frank Pepe's pizza. I will bring more ammo and magazines to CT in the spring. My cell number is REDACTED.
I received this in return at 2:16 PM:
I'm assuming that no one was arrested or charged in the smuggling. Is that the case? It sounds like you sent other people to smuggle in the magazines. Right? Can you be specific as to the kind of ammunition and capacity of the magazines, when this occurred and in what town?.
Can you forward the letter to Gov. Malloy? Was it sent through the U.S. Postal Service or UPS?
I answered at 2:19 PM:
"When I get confirmation of delivery I will let you interview me in full and will answer all your questions."
At 3:25 PM I received the simple reply: "Thank you."
Then at 5:40 PM I got this:
I contacted Gov. Hickenlooper's office and they said they never received your gift of a 30-round AR15/M4..
Do you have confirmation that it was delivered?
To which I replied, at 6:09 PM: "Sent on the 21st. Should have delivered no later than Christmas Eve. Apparently went out for delivery today. That's the postal turtle for you."
At 6:17 PM I sent her this:
"The one to Maryland governor O'Malley delivered today and was signed for. Malloy's is still somewhere in the USPS system, apparently. I am forwarding you a copy of the O'Malley letter."
There our correspondence ended. Yet what should be in my search engine in-box this morning but this story: "Alabama man claims he sent illegal gun magazine to Connecticut’s Malloy."
Evidently, Ms. O'Leary slipped into her Red Queen mode and decided to have the story first, then the interview.
Since we seem to have raised some question in that inquiring reporter's mind about my "claims," here is the letter I sent to Malloy. I'm sure the postal turtle will get around to delivering it one day, or, if not, I'll just send the gun-banning bastard another one.
From the desk of Mike Vanderboegh
PO Box 926, Pinson AL 35126
18 December 2013
Dannel P. Malloy, Governor
210 Capitol Avenue
Hartford CT 06106
Dear Governor Malloy,
Merry Christmas! Enclosed you will find my Christmas gift to you, one thirty-round standard capacity AR15/M4 magazine, new in the wrapping, manufactured by Ammunition Storage Components in New Britain, a company that is according to press accounts considering moving from your fair state because of your tyrannical new law banning such devices to otherwise honest, law-abiding citizens.
My Connecticut friends tell me that your efforts to disarm your fellow citizens will play an important role in your reelection next year. They think they can mobilize enough folks to send you back to Stamford, if that’s where you choose to go. If true, that will put paid to your presidential ambitions, won’t it?
I note that the latest Quinnipiac poll from earlier this year has you at an even split on the approve/disapprove scale, 47% to 47%. This tracks with your previous near-death experience when you were first elected governor by a hair’s breadth amid allegations of voter fraud. Can you really afford losing all those voters alienated by your joined-at-the-hip relationship with Michael Bloomberg? No doubt Bloomie’s campaign donations will flow into your war chest -- although I note you still have not declared for reelection -- but then the energized single-issue voters in Connecticut won’t care about that, will they? Just ask the recalled Colorado state senators. All of Mike’s money didn’t do them a damn bit of good. And to be considered for president in 2016 you absolutely have to be reelected governor, don‘t you agree?
And now that all the provisions of your new tyrannical law have gone into effect, you can count on more headlines of the “honest-gun-owner-caught-in-Malloy‘s-ill-considered-law“ variety. The issue of citizen disarmament which you have embraced whole-hog will not be going away.
To ensure that, my friends and I will continue to smuggle such thirty-round magazines as you now own in defiance of that law. Indeed, since I first smuggled six such magazines back in April -- and announced that fact on the steps of your State House -- we have imported into your state more than fifty such magazines and transferred them to Connecticut citizens in defiance of your ill-considered diktat.
It is a modest number, to be sure, but then we work with modest means. All of the magazines we have smuggled to date were donated by folks -- some from Connecticut, including the one you hold in your hand -- who wished to slap you in the face with their defiance. My friends and I, Three Percenters all, are merely the conduit of their contempt for your petty tyranny. They believe the long-standing principle of American jurisprudence that an unconstitutional law is null and void. Of course the trick is to make that point when the levers of power are in the hands of domestic enemies of the Constitution such as yourself.
In any case, I’m sure that since my own public defiance back in April, your state police -- known for their slavish toadying to the whims of the governor’s mansion -- have a file going on me. They will play hob trying to make a case on my friends, but I’d say that your Christmas gift may be proof that I, at least, am guilty of defying your unconstitutional tyranny. You’re a former drug war prosecutor from Brooklyn. Do you think you can make a case? I invite you to prosecute me if you think you can, but then there’s that pesky firearm rights issue that you just wish would go away until after your reelection.
It is a conundrum, ain’t it? Of course if you don’t come after me, my friends and I will have, to paraphrase Nathan Bedford Forrest, slapped your jaws and forced you to resent it. Can you stand our unanswered defiance? My bet is that you can’t, but even if I were to disappear off the face of the earth tomorrow, my friends, including some of your fellow citizens, will continue to defy your unconstitutional law by smuggling in what you have banned. Connecticut, as I pointed out in my April speech, was a state that was built on patriot smuggling. Do you think your fellow citizens today are any less committed to opposing your depredations of their traditional liberties? Do you think they do not understand your growing appetite, like all tyrants, for their liberty, their property, and -- at the hands of the state police raiders enforcing your diktat -- their lives?
If you do, Dannell, you misunderstand their character. They may be a minority, but they are a determined minority and history, for good or ill, is made by such determined minorities. So, too, are reelections in such a divided state as yours. Good luck with that.
You know, when my wife read the rough draft of this letter she thought I had misspelled your name. No, I assured her, it is spelled “Dannel.” As you no doubt know it is a variant of the Hebrew “Daniel,” meaning “God is my judge.”
You would do well to remember that, Dannel, as the coming new year brings more prosecutions under, and more resistance to, your tyrannical law -- for God is certainly our Judge. In the end, you may find unwanted wisdom in the ancient Chinese caution, “Be careful what you wish for, you may get it.”
Oh, and one more thing. Since you now own an illegal device smuggled into your state in defiance of your diktat, I have this suggestion: Go arrest yourself.
Sincerely, and hoping you have a merry Christmas,
Mike Vanderboegh, Smuggler
The alleged leader of a merry band of Three Percenters
PO Box 926
Pinson, AL 35126