Saturday, December 21, 2013

"Go arrest yourself." My Christmas gift to Colorado Governor Hickenlooper.

From the desk of Mike Vanderboegh, PO Box 926, Pinson AL 35126
18 December 2013
John W Hickenlooper, Governor
136 State Capitol
Denver, CO 80203-1792
My dear Governor Hickenlooper,
Merry Christmas! Enclosed you will find my Christmas gift to you, one thirty-round standard capacity AR15/M4 magazine, Generation M2, new in the wrapping, manufactured by MagPul, a Colorado company that is slowly disengaging from your state thanks to your tyrannical new law banning such devices to otherwise honest, law-abiding citizens.
I note in your interview with Colorado Public Radio yesterday that you are standing by your ill-conceived attack on the Constitutional rights of Colorado firearm owners, albeit with all the nervousness of a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. The results of those recalls seem to have made you bilious, huh? And although I‘m sure you won‘t turn down Michael Bloomberg‘s money come your reelection campaign, in the context of Colorado political reality you’ll have to regard him with all the enthusiasm of a subway rider whose seat mate has his hair on fire. You can’t get away from him, but you really hope you won’t get burned. Good luck with that.
Indeed, it seems as if you wish the gun issue would just go away. Well, it won’t. You see, even the politically gelded and tone-deaf GOP couldn’t possibly miss this opportunity to tie this loathsome can to your tail and even if they do, interest groups within and without your state will make sure that you own what you bought.
For my part, my friends and I will continue to smuggle such thirty-round magazines as you now own in defiance of that law -- the fact that you hold it in your hand means that we have now imported into your state more than a hundred such magazines in defiance of your ill-considered diktat.
It is a modest number, to be sure, but then we work with modest means -- all of the magazines we have smuggled to date were donated by folks who wished to slap you in the face with their defiance. My friends and I, Three Percenters all, are merely the conduit of their contempt for your petty tyranny. They believe the long-standing principle of American jurisprudence that an unconstitutional law is null and void. Of course the trick is to make that point when the levers of power are in the hands of domestic enemies of the Constitution such as yourself.
In any case, you’re the governor for now so you are welcome to have your state police open an investigation on me. Of course there is a little problem of making a case regarding the others, but I’d say that your Christmas gift may be proof that I, at least, am guilty of defying your unconstitutional tyranny. I invite you to prosecute me if you think you can, but then there’s that pesky firearm rights issue that you just wish would go away before the election. . . It is a conundrum, ain’t it?
You know, my Michigan-born and bred grandfather once advised me, “Son, you don’t poke a wolverine with a sharp stick unless you want your balls ripped off.” You have wolverines in Colorado as well, don’t you? I mention this just as a caution, but then you’ve already poked that metaphorical wolverine with your sharp tyrannical stick, haven’t you? Making otherwise law-abiding folks into criminals is a rather stupid thing to do, for they may decide that if they’re going to be considered criminals by petty dictators posing as state officials that they should probably be the very best, most successful criminals they can be.
Oh, and one more thing. Since you now own an illegal device smuggled into your state in defiance of your diktat, I have this suggestion: Go arrest yourself.
Sincerely, and hoping you have a merry Christmas,
Mike Vanderboegh, Smuggler
The alleged leader of a merry band of Three Percenters
PO Box 926
Pinson, AL 35126


WarriorClass III said...

Excellent letter! The governor is bilious indeed; the stench has traveled across the nation.

Carl Stevenson said...

Be sure to let us know if/when you need some $ for representation to fight an extradition request.

Mt Top Patriot said...

Most Excellent!
Delicious revolt.
A very inspiring act of resistance to tyranny.


EOgUy said...

Excellent and very well written!

Anonymous said...

Mr Vanderboegh

Once again you speak truth to power in a way few others in the blogosphere do. Your unique sense of humor is a delight, more so because I am sure your words hurt these petty tyrants more than a thousand f bombs. Are you still taking donations for your smuggling campaign?

Anonymous said...

The dear Governor's food tasters will intercept this before he ever sees it.

Anonymous said...

Mike, That letter is superb! I only could wish to be able to write like that.

Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

Correction! The stench has travelled across the World.

Kiwi III

Dutchman6 said...

Anon asks: "Are you still taking donations for your smuggling campaign?"

Yes, certainly. PayPal or send to PO Box at the right.

Anonymous said...

Am seeing incompetant BigBro as a 2 year old fiddling with an idling chainsaw. Uh ohhhh!
Great Writing, D6

Anonymous said...

Mike, Your letter was so good that it caused Mt Top Patriot to become almost speechless! Almost. ;)

That has to be his all time shortest reply.

P.S. Mt Top, all in good fun!

bondmen said...

Some people send Christmas cards, some send fruitcake, others gift-cards or shirts but Mike Vanderboegh sends Christmas mags to uppity elitists in governor's mansions! Way to trump 'em all Mike and to you and yours a very, Merry Christmas.

Anonymous said...

Awesome Mike!!

PO'd American said...

Hickenpooper is just stupid enough to think that a MagPul Magazine is a cigarette case.

Anonymous said...

Mike, dammit I was eating hot wings when I read that letter and I damn near choked to death laughing. Thanks Mike, outstanding!

Anonymous said...

This letter alone is worth far more than my own modest contribution to the cause. I can't reach across the states to smack the good governor on the mouth, but I am more than pleased to know someone who can, and with panache!
Thanx again, Mike, and Merry Christmas!


Anonymous said...

So, just want go know.
Is "go arrest yourself" the new silent dog whistle sooper-seekret code phrase (that all libtards are attuned to and dread to hear) for "go f**k yourself"?
Inquiring minds, and all that.

B Woodman

Dakota said...

I guess I am more than a little worried about this Mike. Using the mail to break a law is a "Federal" beef is it not? There is also crossing State lines, although I don't know if that applies or not.

Just saying ......?

AJ said...

OK, that was pretty awesome.
Are you still taking donations of fired brass? If so, I have a pile of it for you.
BTW, you can edit out the part after pretty awesome.

Anonymous said...

If I send him one bullet, do you suppose that he'll shoot himself?

Dutchman6 said...

AJ, I can't edit your comments, only pass them or delete them. That said, sure we're always looking for brass.

Coyote Vs ACME said...


Since there is no Federal Law (yet) I know of banning mailing a mag anywhere in the US (I just got a recent shipment of 4 Magpuls) I do not think thats a problem.
If A state has a beef with it, then its their issue but since Mike isnt in CO They get squat.

Anonymous said...

Now just think if that man got hundreds and thousand of those letters and gifts. Sadly, the statist would call it a net gain claiming that he's glad all those magazines "off" the street.

So I propose this - I all it the "clips campaign".
Every letter written to government should include a paper clip to represent a "illegal" magazine.

While not quite as bodacious as mikes "gift ", this does send the message mike sent without giving up all those mags and there is that huh? Factor for them on the "clip" front - so in your letters do please explain what the paper clip "represents".

I can just see someone sending their magazine banning governors ten thousand paper clips. He he. Folks can send their own mike style letters without the danger of prosecution - meaning many more would be willing to participate.

Whatcha think mike? A "clip campaign"?
Nicely done homeboy. That letter is the tits and ass of Constititional activism. Straight up.

Unknown said...

The gov of my state (MD) could use one as well... His new laws are even worse than CO's.

Anonymous said...

God bless you, sir.

Liberty or Death said...

here is an idea... take a paperclip, straighten it then wind it 30 times. It is now a "30 round clip". Send Hickenlooper thousands of these telling him you want to turn in your now illegal (not really, but you know lol) 30 round clips but are keeping your 30 round magazines, thank you very much.

Anonymous said...


In the spirit of the holiday season, please don't forget to send some Magpul goodness to Messrs. Cuomo and Malloy and Bloomberg.

Thank you for keeping up the good fight, and may the reigns of tyrants such as Gov. Lickmypooper be short.

Till Valhall

Paul X said...

Mike, this is genius! :-)

ExtraChrispy said...

Speaking as a Colorado Native & Resident here; there is an interesting end-run to the whimsical, farcical, and utterly arbitrary illegalization of my heretofore legal standard capacity 30-round magazines.

May I present one and all with a 100% legal solution:

Alexander Arms Beowulf magazines.

For those of you not aware, the Beowulf is a .50 cal weapon built on the AR-15 platform. The magazines accept 12 of the .50 cal rounds. It is, therefore, under Colorado Law, 'legal' under the definitions of "less than 15 rounds."
It is an unmodified, standard-issue 30-round .223/5.56 magazine, BUT since it's sold as a Beowulf magazine, it "sneaks in under the radar," so to speak.

Take that, you liberal, pansy, ass-hats.