"Man gets probation in wrong-car defecation," and with a name like Austin Horries Purifoy coupled with the fact that the fecal assailant is joining the U.S. Army, I just had to pass this silly-human-tricks story on to you, dear readers.
I especially liked this comes-the-dawn bright boy of the week moment:
"This is your car?" Purifoy said before bolting the scene, according to documents filed in court. "I thought this was Desiree's car."
Presumably the Army will give the boy some lessons in target identification. Pity the poor drill sergeant. Pity Austin Horries Purifoy. Pity the taxpayers.