Thursday, April 22, 2010
Rumor Control: Regarding the alleged "browning" of Paul Helmke.
I have received several emails alleging that I took the opportunity to "brown" Paul Helmke, much as my son and the 101st Airborne "browned" Geraldo Riviera as he got on the helicopter after he was kicked out of their AO by division commander General David Petreaus for compromising the position and plans of the One-Oh-One by broadcasting them to the world during the Iraqi invasion.
(For the uninitiated, "browning" involves sticking your hand back down in between your ass cheeks, seeking the essence of anal sphincter and then vigorous shaking the hand of someone you despise, all the while sincerely and repeatedly wishing him well.)
That I have been suspected of this is, I suppose, natural. However, I would like to say categorically that I did not "brown" Paul Helmke, as far as you know.