Thursday, July 28, 2011

Back home, and an apology. The TSA protects us from the threat of diabetic shoe bombs.

Made it back home yesterday after flying first to Chicago, changing planes and then riding a swift sardine can to Birmingham. Exhausted, I fell asleep once I hit the car after Rosey picked me up curbside, and was not awake long after I got home. I just collapsed.

Here's the weird thing: I was never groped. They never put their hands on me, nor was I run through the "naked machine." At Ronald Reagan, TSA paid particular attention to my diabetic shoes and said they needed "to remove the inserts." I objected, saying that they were specially constructed and if they did that they would destroy their utility. "Well, we've got to test them." "Non-destructive testing?" "Yes." So I found a chair halfway through the line and sat down while they took away my shoes and x-rayed them, sniffed them or let them be "mind-melded" by the little psychic midget woman from "Poltergeist," or whatever they do with shoes suspected of deadly intent. After ten minutes, I got my shoes back and hobbled on my way. Heaven knows how they would have reacted to my Darth Vader boot that I left at home for just that reason. My wound care doctor is going to to be upset with me next week, but it was a trade-off. I needed to be there. And I needed to get around while I was there.

Anyway, I want to apologize to those of you whom I promised to notify when I got home safely, and didn't. I'm sorry, but I just collapsed. I didn't have it left in me.

Now, having slept most of the night, let us "drink water and drive on."


Mark Matis said...

Heh. You're obviously just not cute enough for them. Next time travel with a loaded Depends. That seems to turn them on...

Anonymous said...

The TSA nee DHS has put a "bug" in your shoe. Beware. . . . . (Serious? Joking? Don't know. Just something to possibly be aware of)

B Woodman

Anonymous said...

Glad you made it back safely, Mike.

Slobyskysa Rotchikokov said...

"I didn't have it left in me."-
that's what Barney Frank said.

Welcome home. Glad the TSA overlooked the encrypted microdots in your shoes. The information will be of immense use to your handlers at the NSA.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mike saw your cane, right arm and shoulder on C-SPAN.

Man does Newell have big ears or what? Maybe they just look that way on TV or they grow with every lie he tells.

Dennis308 said...

Welcome Back. Glad your safe.