Sunday, August 22, 2010

These guys are nucking futs. On the other hand, they likely won't get eaten by zombies.

"Fatties die first."

From the Gear Scout column of Military Times comes this video and related commentary about parkour as a training tool.


Sean said...

No, not eaten by zombies. But they will become rather well-aquainted with Orthopaedic Surgeons, as I am. Believe me, there is nothing, I mean nothing liked a crushed ankle to get your undivided attention.

Dennis308 said...

The KIDS certainly are in shape, but at 53 years of age I think I´ll provide cover for the Grenadiers.

Was kinda funny when he got to the window sill and found himself with nowhere to go,,, without doing vandalism.


Defender said...

Gonna have to work my way up to that. These guys are in amazing condition. Like stunts from the Bourne movies.
So the tower-climbing in the video game "Assassin's Creed" I and II isn't that far-fetched at all. Cool.
Anything can be a weapon, and anything can be training equipment.

Anonymous said...

Looks like it'd be very useful and a lot of fun!

fireplaceguy said...

I wanna see more outtakes!

More seriously, I'm far from a teenager these days. That goes for most of us, I'd bet...

I train pretty carefully, by and large. It's only prudent. No sense being laid up with a broken ankle or wrist when the shit hits.



Anonymous said...

Okay, that level of performance isn't going to happen with most of us. We can, however, go to the local nature trail and practice jumping logs, streams, and ruts, as well as balancing on logs. In the cities, one can jog over urban terrain and practice jumping ditches and fences. Keep in mind that running and negotiating obstacles will wear you out much faster than ordinary jogging. Also, build up gradually to avoid injury and to develop timing and aim.

Toaster 802 said...

This could be a handy skill set for e and e in an urban setting. One has to wonder about hauling gear about.

I would say that the guy who is able to do gymnastics, northern styles of gung-fu, dance all funky like would be good at this. Even in my younger days (not that I am that old) I was gravity bound. I guess what I am trying to say is sometimes you got it, and somethings are not your cup of tea.

Anonymous said...

There were actually some parkour playas at Fort Hunt prior to the rally. The gun embattlements made some neat practice areas. Remember?

As 4 out of 3 parkours will tell you, compound fractures are a mother.


Ahab said...

What I saw in that video was an absolutely marvelous display of agility, speed, and climbing skills that only thoroughly athletic, lightly clad youth, could accomplish. None of us can do anything like what I saw there. But, then again, I don't think these kids could repeat that performance loaded down with rifle, ammo, and other ancillary equipage.

Hot damn! Just think if they could, and shoot straight when they got where they were going, wouldn't they be dynamite militiamen!

The admonition in lots of places applies here, "don't try this at home." Hah!

SiGraybeard said...

I would be a bag of powdered calcium, with not a bone left intact in my body.

Mile 66 said...

Come on, guys! Everybody know the Zombies go real slow! Even the fatties can outpace them. The only thing is that zombies don't need to stop to rest, so you better jog some distance away from them, and take quick naps, then jog again. Change directions often when they are out of sight, I have a hunch that they are not good trackers.
I've seen parkour videos, they are amazing. I would like to see more of the outtakes, though, those are prolly the heart-breakers!

Anonymous said...

I can see me racking myself on the first jump...

1Lt. Taylor Holmes, ret. said...

I'd like to see that with at least a minimum of useful equipment attached.

Either it's going to slap them around the body


It's going to hinder motion, being strapped on tight enough to not slapped them about the body.

Either way, it will affect balance, weigh and slow them down, tire them out and kill them on occasion when they miss a hand hold.

What I pull from this is that good training can help hone a skill to where it can be used as intended, where intended, on "the intended".

Get off your asses and TRAIN.

Crustyrusty said...

I couldn't do that crap when I was their age and WAS in shape.

Not that I'd want to anyway. I prefer my 2 feet on the ground, thankyouverymuch.

Mike H said...

My son's former girlfriend was into this stuff. Made me tired to watch em lol.

Mike said...

They make awesome messengers.

Fat Baldy Caver said...


The cousin of an ex from years ago used to pick fights with steroid filled night club bouncers, Those and other such responsible actions kept his small mind amused.

He got arrested for his hobby when he was on holiday in Spain, and promptly did a wall of death act up the corner of the exercise yard wall. Something the guys with beer bellies or steroid filled skins could never do.

Fortunately for him, the Spanish cops don't bother to top their walls with broken bottles or grease.

word verification is;

GunRights4US said...

Just being able to hike 10 miles with a moderate load, OR run for miles with a light load, AND be able to fight when you reach the end. That's a standard that we "gravity bound" types can certainly aspire to.

Jensko said...

A couple guys like that would be a valuable asset to any squad. They could carry a normal load usually and then when needed go "Light" carrying only a radio for recon or a rope to blaze the trail for those that will follow up.

Anonymous said...

Perspective, my friends. These aren't foot soldiers. There are PLENTY of duties for someone who can scale 12 foot walls without equipment.

I've seen parkour videos before where the people are carrying backpacks full of stuff. What kind of "stuff" could YOU fit into a backpack that might be useful to you while dressed in black and jumping over 12 foot walls at night?

Anonymous said...

There was a time when I thought I could do things like that.

Then I spent a month in traction and finished school in a wheel-chair.

Ruined my military service before it even started.

Ah, well.
At least I can still do positional defense.

Fat Baldy said...

Now didn't a nice Dutchman post a picture of a certain concrete office block surrounded by multi-storey concrete planters?

howabout Parkouring around those concrete hemorrhoids?

Toastrider said...

Not funny. Poor guys would probably get shot at.

Honestly, parkour really is for people who, when they were young'uns, really liked Spider-Man and Batman. Still, though... as messengers and fast scouts, that sort of skillset would be damn useful. Not to mention that a body in that kind of shape is easily capable of less dramatic but no less necessary endurance.

Mattexian said...

Reminds me so much of all the Jackie Chan/ninja movies action scenes, which is impressive when you consider Chan does most of his own stunts and is still doing them at 56.