Wednesday, January 13, 2010

ATF turns to cannibalism, and kindly classifies me as a reporter in the same breath (and y'all ain't gonna to believe how THAT came about.)

kar·ma noun

1. Hinduism & Buddhism The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny.

2. Fate; destiny.

In the vernacular, epitomized by the observation that "what goes around, comes around."

Folks and Feds,

At the end of my post on "Big Doings at the Concrete Asshole of the Universe" regarding last week's "Come to Jesus meeting" at ATF headquarters, I had this postscript:

PS This analysis is brought to you courtesy of Jody Keeku, the principal ATF railroader of David Olofson. After all, I wouldn't be blogging if it weren't for ole Jody's malfeasances. Ya gotta love the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Now, so stressed is that agency from the internal bickering, backbiting and fratricide which they have reaped by virtue of their own incompetencies coming home to roost -- evidenced by shouting in the halls, sandbagging of superiors by getting them to sign off on documents that the underling KNOWS will later bounce back to haunt the boss, and of course the universal fear and loathing of the High Priests of the Counsel's Office -- that, apparently based on the entry above, it is now rumored that Jody Keeku, the framer of David Olofson, is to face disciplinary proceedings for "talking to a reporter," namely ME, the honcho and itinerant scribbler here at Sipsey Street Irregulars.

I kid you not -- my right hand to God, the sources swear this is true, and we have it from more than one source. I ain't makin' this up. Of course until they make an official announcement of this stunning development, this must remain a reported rumor, but know that it WAS reported.

This remarkably karmic development is merely the latest example of an agency turned to cannibalism. As for myself, although I do appreciate being classified as a reporter by the agency (and I intend to exploit that fact with my next FOIA request), I must say that I neither confirm nor deny that Ms. Keeku is a source of mine. And though this is what I am required to say, I can only marvel that any sane and calm person could possibly misinterpret what I wrote into an indictment of Ms. Keeku.

We must conclude, then, that whoever brought these charges against Ms. Keeku is likely at the moment neither sane nor calm. In fact, I get the impression that the entire agency is following the advice of an ancient ditty that I first heard from Grandpa Vanderboegh:

When in peril or in doubt,
Run in circles, scream and shout.

And in this case, they're running around with their hair on fire.

Now, admittedly the woman has some major sins to atone for, not the least of which is railroading David Olofson. She also has had some minor peccadilloes, such as allegedly leaving her duty pistol in an airport ladies room. However, the allegation that Jody Keeku passed me, of all people, inside information on the ATF, is just as plausible as a bunch of highly-paid government employees resorting to cannibalism.

Oh, wait, well, maybe not, huh?

All I can say at this point is that if Jody Keeku really does wish to speak to me, I will be at the Indy 1500 gunshow this weekend in Indianapolis on Saturday, likely walking around on my cane and wearing my Oath Keepers boonie hat with my nametape on the back. (Sadly, I will miss the opening day, Friday, and will not have a table.)

If Ms. Keeku wishes to publicly confess her sins and receive absolution, I will do the best I can. For a non-priest, anyway. How about it, Jody? Do we have a date? And of course I don't need to tell YOU, but watch out for the crazed karmic cannibals of your own agency.


Resourceful ATF agent Donny Ho takes advantage of a hair-on-fire moment to cook lunch.


Snaggle-Tooth Jones said...

You report, we decide. Or something like that.

Whatever it is, it's delicious.


Happy D said...

Now this is funny.

Anonymous said...

@ Chef Ho ROFLMAO!

Anonymous said...

Of course, if you're a reporter, then you're just a little closer to being a "public persona" and have less of a claim under libel/slander laws.

Carl said...

The cannibal in the picture bears a striking resemblance to the mighty O, methinks. May they all consume each other.

Anonymous said...

Over on WND, there's an article that may bear review concerning ATF trolling of this and similar pages. The link is below.


MamaLiberty said...

Somebody needs to be sure they have enough salt over at BATFE HQ. Meat without salt is just terrible... especially that kind, I'd think...

aughtsix said...

Mike, That may be the most clever, slick and wryly ironic send up of the jack booted thugs I've ever had the pleasure to see.

You point. We laugh!

They writhe in an agony of doubt,recrimination, guilt and fear.