Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Southern Poverty Law Center exhibits scientific method on Oath Keepers.

Crowd: We've got a witch! A Witch!
The Witch: I'm not a witch I'm not a witch!
Sir Bedevere: But you are dressed as one
The Witch: *They* dressed me up like this!
Crowd: We didn't! We didn't...
The Witch: And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
Sir Bedevere: [lifts up her false nose] Well?
Peasant 1: Well, we did do the nose.
Sir Bedevere: The nose?
Peasant 1: And the hat, but she is a witch!
Crowd: Yeah! Burn her! Burn her!
Sir Bedevere: Did you dress her up like this?
Peasant 1: No!
Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!
Peasant 3: No!
Peasant 1: No!
Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!
Peasant 1: Yes!
Peasant 2: Yes!
Peasant 1: Yeah a bit.
Peasant 3: A bit!
Peasant 1, Peasant 2: A bit!
Peasant 2: a bit
Peasant 1: But she has got a wart!
Random Person in the crowd: *cough* *cough*

Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!

With many thanks to Monty Python and their Search for the Holy Grail for illuminating Southern Poverty Law Center's scientific method of analysis. Now, go to David Codrea's twin National Gun Examiner pieces:

Media discovering Oath Keepers: part one


Media discovering Oath Keepers: part two



Anonymous said...

Oath Keepers have been signing up at a rate of over 100 per hour and it is mid-morning, the least active internet time of the day. I tracked it into the wee hours last night too. The West Coasties were coming in like gangbusters and didn't slow until well after midnight.

The mornings started out as expected with Patriots on the East Coast, then by midday the Midwest takes over and by the time Colonial America is putting their kiddies to bed the registry is taken over by the West Coast. You could actually see the country signing on in waves like one giant American flag!

This is a most terrible time in history with treachery in our highest places. The wolves circle our camps and the air is filled with thei vicious lies. Even those who should know better have fallen under a spell like traitors before them. Every day brings a new threat. Yet there has never been a GREATER TIME to be an American! And THIS American is UP FOR IT! It is like I have been training for this day all my life.

Long live the Republic!

Kevin Wilmeth said...

Mike, love the Python reference, but you forgot the part of the conversation that goes to the selling of the witch concept to others. Remember, SPLC is all about the sales pitch:

"She turned me into a newt!"
"...a newt?"
"...It got better."

Anonymous said...

Another media discovery. This time it's Patrick Buchanan: