Wednesday, April 13, 2011

When you've got an extra penis and don't know how to explain it.

Belfast's Europa Hotel, the world’s most bombed hotel, 33 times between 1970 and 1995. J.D. Cash stayed here while investigating possible IRA links to the explosives used in the OKC bombing.

So, the Jayna Davis crap below dredged up unexpected old J.D. Cash memories for me. One day, I was sitting on J.D.'s porch in McCurtain County, Oklahoma and the subject of the extra leg found at the OKC bombing came up. Some of you may recall, there was an extra leg dressed in combat boot and BDUs that couldn't be matched any other corpse. J.D. started laughing and said that a Brit explosives expert had an explanation for that. The story, as best I can recall, went like this:

One day a car load of Provisional IRA were on their way to set yet another bomb at The Europa, Belfast's most bombed hotel. The sedan they were in hit a pot hole and that was the last anybody saw of it entirely. The bomb was so big that the sedan fragmented into tiny pieces, along with the Provos. After gathering pieces of car and humans out of the walls and off the roofs of surrounding buildings, the Brits assembled four reasonably complete -- given the circumstances -- Provos ready for the priest. One problem. They had four shattered corpses and five penises. (Here, J.D. began to laugh uncontrollably for a bit.)

That's right. Four bodies and five penises. The other recovered male members were somewhat shredded but attached to other parts, which could be matched to other parts, and so on. The fifth, independent johnson was actually in pretty good shape, except it was not hooked up to its body, which seemed to have vanished, leaving the lonely little fireman behind.

Further forensic investigation showed that the bomb had been sitting in the back seat of the sedan and the direction of the violence done to the four Provos indicated that two had been sitting in front and two in the back on either side of the blast. They also found a badly dented steel plate that had been driven through the floor of the car and embedded into the street.

From this evidence, the Brit explosive expert said, they concluded that fifth penis belonged to a man sitting center seat in the back, balancing the bomb on a steel plate in his lap. When it went off, the steel plate protected the man's penis but little else. Thus, four corpses and five penises.

The conclusion the Brit drew about the extra leg at OKC was that it came from a bomber who was actually in the truck when it went off. The combat boot and BDU leg would tend to indicate someone military, or at least, paramilitary. You know, like the security force at Elohim City.


John said...

I love these little vignettes you post when, like
Toto in the wizard of oz, you pull the curtain back to show the small man who works the levers and buttons but since Andreas is accounted for I wonder if any ATF or FBI agents went missing that day and are presumed dead?

Anonymous said...

Its been my thoery for years, John Doe#2 of the extra leg, crawled into the truck and armed the bomb while Mcvey went to get the car. JD2 Fungled his arming sequence, bomb went boom a little early and Micky hit the gas and departed the scene post haste.

But what do I know