Haunted by the ghosts of Iraq war dead, John Murtha commits suicide!
Hillary Clinton to enter nunnery!
"Waco Jim" Cavanaugh and ATF Agent Jody Keeku caught in secret love triangle with Barney Frank! Frank calls foul -- "I thought Keeku was a guy, she's so MANLY!"
Bill Clinton announces with remorse that subsequent to his long struggle with a host of STD's, his johnson has fallen off!
April fool, from Sipsey Street.