From: georgemason1776 < email@example.com >
To: kwendt < firstname.lastname@example.org >; epage < email@example.com >
Sent: Mon, Oct 22, 2012 5:31 pm
Subject: I've never operated a wood chipper.
I've never operated a wood chipper.
Not a small electric one, not a medium gas powered version, not a big diesel booger in a woodlot in Skokie. In fact, the only wood chipper I ever got close to belonged ro my grandfather, and it was broken. (All true.)
We came from a long line of Michigan wood choppers so my inexperience with the tools was not a given. Indeed, my grandfather acquired an allergy to Canadian wood choppers, going so far as to assert that the real reason that Canadians put a maple leaf on their flags has something to do with substitute toilet paper for lumberjacks.
But I recall from an early age being warned "Stay away from those, they're dangerous." When I was older, I saw the movie Fargo and I knew that Saddam Hussein used to put his political opponents in them. Wood chippers were bad. Everybody knew that.
It wasn't until I got to Alabama and had a yard big enough with plenty of brush that I discovered what a useful useful tool they really were.. Huh. Who would have thought?
Do you begin to understand, Mr. Wendt, how ridiculous and stupid your assignment of evil to a mere tool is? How goofy your anthropomorphization of inanimate steel, wood and plastic really is? A firearm is a tool, just like a wood chipper. Of course firearms are liberty tools of great utility in resisting criminals, both freelance and government-sponsored. As my friend Kurt Hofmann paraphrases Edmund Burke by the lights of the funeral pyres of Twentieth Century holocausts, evil exists only because good men don't kill the government officials committing it."
I found your paper's obsession with the 10 percent of the law-abiding who carry legal concealed weapons to be laughable. Do the demographics, do the crime statistics and then do the math -- there's undoubtedly double that amount of criminals packing heat at any given moment -- yet it is us, the law abiding who "make you nervous?"
Do you do big spreads on THEM?
I rest my case.
And stay away from those dangerous wood chippers.