Radical Rhinoplasty. Michael Bloomberg's Mother's Nose Job. Getting the old gal ready to go break some more laws.

A close-up of Charlotte Bloomberg's lockwork, in all her naked glory.

So, today I went over to my good friend and favorite gunsmith Len Savage in Heard County, Georgia with a mission: to submit Mrs. Bloomberg to a complete check up with a view to get Charlotte ready for the campaigns to come as we go back to Washington state to break Bloomberg's Law -- again.

With the assistance of Ramsey A. Bear, we stripped the old lady down for her physical and discovered, among other things:

** Her barrels had been previously cut down from a longer length (originals could have been as much as 36") and one of them was dented.

** she was looser than a goose with dysentery in her lockup. She positively rattled. The girl had obviously been around several blocks and probably fired with modern smokeless ammunition. The metallurgy was incredibly soft by modern standards. Someone had risked getting blown up at some time in the past.

** Her forearm wood was badly split and cosmetically very poorly repaired, but seemed like it would hold together for a while longer.

** She needed, and got, a good cleaning. We also used Brownell's OxphoBlue to darken her complexion a bit, but not, a Ramsey observed, "as dark as Mike Bloomberg's heart." We also left all of her wrinkles and warts intact. She earned those honestly.

** There were apparent bloodstains on the wood around the lockwork and blood pitting on the lockwork itself, prompting R.A. Bear to ask, "Why Mrs. Bloomberg, what HAVE you been up to?"

The important thing was to make her functional, within the limits of her flawed metallurgy, either with brass black powder shells or perhaps (and this may be in her immediate future) .410 sleeves. I was criticized by a couple of brave Anony Mouses that I was trying to evade arrest with a wall-hanger. So that was Priority Number One.

Then there was the business of the previously lopped-off and dented barrels. Ramsey suggested, "I think the old bitch needs a nose job. It'll make her handier in a tight spot, anyway." So that is what we did.

Here is the new Charlotte with her lopped-off nose, immediately after the rhinoplasty:

Of course we wanted to keep everything out of the Randy Weaver error zone, so the barrel is now a nice 18.75 inches.

Here she is as seen full length, cleaned up, tightened up, and fully functional and ready to go out and break Bloomberg's Law again:

And here I am, posing with the old girl and the result of her rhinoplasty.

I think I'll send the tip to Mike along with an explanatory cover letter.