Sunday, March 1, 2015

Radical Rhinoplasty. Michael Bloomberg's Mother's Nose Job. Getting the old gal ready to go break some more laws.

A close-up of Charlotte Bloomberg's lockwork, in all her naked glory.
So, today I went over to my good friend and favorite gunsmith Len Savage in Heard County, Georgia with a mission: to submit Mrs. Bloomberg to a complete check up with a view to get Charlotte ready for the campaigns to come as we go back to Washington state to break Bloomberg's Law -- again.
With the assistance of Ramsey A. Bear, we stripped the old lady down for her physical and discovered, among other things:
** Her barrels had been previously cut down from a longer length (originals could have been as much as 36") and one of them was dented.
** she was looser than a goose with dysentery in her lockup. She positively rattled. The girl had obviously been around several blocks and probably fired with modern smokeless ammunition. The metallurgy was incredibly soft by modern standards. Someone had risked getting blown up at some time in the past.
** Her forearm wood was badly split and cosmetically very poorly repaired, but seemed like it would hold together for a while longer.
** She needed, and got, a good cleaning. We also used Brownell's OxphoBlue to darken her complexion a bit, but not, a Ramsey observed, "as dark as Mike Bloomberg's heart." We also left all of her wrinkles and warts intact. She earned those honestly.
** There were apparent bloodstains on the wood around the lockwork and blood pitting on the lockwork itself, prompting R.A. Bear to ask, "Why Mrs. Bloomberg, what HAVE you been up to?"
The important thing was to make her functional, within the limits of her flawed metallurgy, either with brass black powder shells or perhaps (and this may be in her immediate future) .410 sleeves. I was criticized by a couple of brave Anony Mouses that I was trying to evade arrest with a wall-hanger. So that was Priority Number One.
Then there was the business of the previously lopped-off and dented barrels. Ramsey suggested, "I think the old bitch needs a nose job. It'll make her handier in a tight spot, anyway." So that is what we did.
Here is the new Charlotte with her lopped-off nose, immediately after the rhinoplasty:
Of course we wanted to keep everything out of the Randy Weaver error zone, so the barrel is now a nice 18.75 inches.
Here she is as seen full length, cleaned up, tightened up, and fully functional and ready to go out and break Bloomberg's Law again:
And here I am, posing with the old girl and the result of her rhinoplasty.
I think I'll send the tip to Mike along with an explanatory cover letter.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like Mrs. Bloomberg was a REAL HOBAG back in her day. Do you suppose she wore knee pads 24-7 too? Sad thing is some of my favorite radio stations carry the Bloombooger financial report in their news cast. Might be time to start complaining about the Bloombooger slant on the financial info they are passing along.

Allen said...

I wonder if the gaugemate chamber inserts would work? they seem to be fairly thick, and would take the pressure of firing instead of those thin damascus walls...

it's not a 12 gauge, but a 2-shot .44 magnum is damn sure better than a hand grenade in front of your face.

skybill said...

Hi Mike,
'Reminds me of all those old "Western movies" where the "Gun Guard" on all those old Stage Coaches had a "Piece" like that!! "'Don't dare call it a 'GUN' in front of your D.I.!!" 'Ole "Char" is "'Sumptin!!'" Let us know what kind of "Pattern" she throws if'n ya' decide to toss out some lead from her?? I'm sure she'd like to let her "VOICE" be known!!! 'Would love to see the vid!!!
"What a 'Babe!!!,"
Never mind "Got Gunz?,"
"You Have T-H-E G-U-N!!!!!!,"
skybill- standing by!!

Anonymous said...

Randy Weaver zone in some places is 20". Dada City Fla used to be one years ago.

Uncle Elmo said...

Beautiful! Isn't that the gun that Marshall Micah Tarns used steel shot with to keep the bad guys in line in North Fork?

Anonymous said...

Now if someone with some leather crafting skills could make a "Three per" sling for her.

Anonymous said...

I'd make a joke about "just the tip", Bloomin'idiot, and Nanny Statism, but maybe there are others out there who could do better.
Just pass it out there, and let the fun begin.

B Woodman

Galaxie_Man said...

YEAH....Send the lopped off barrel ends to Mini-Mikey! Of course, he'll never see them or the accompanying letter of explanation, his minions wouldn't want him to get upset. Or pee his panties.

0007 said...

pick up a couple of 20ga shell adaptors and just use lighter sport loads in them. I have an old "lupara" with Damascus barrels and that's what I did/do.
Currently I am working on converting a 16ga gun to a double rifle in 348 Winchester...

David Codrea said...

Challenge your anonymous critics to take a "wallhanger" to NYC or DC and see if the "it doesn't work" excuse shields them from repercussions and exposure.

flaxk9 said...

Your "wall hanger" was made to shoot 18.2-millimeter shells, shells that are no longer available. In the below federal case an ATF agent testified that the gun can fire fixed ammunition that is currently commercially manufactured in the United States, namely 12-gauge shotgun shells and the court declared the antique a firearm under federal law even though it would have been unsafe to load and fire a modern shotgun shell in it. US v. Introcaso, 506 F. 3d 260 - Court of Appeals, 3rd Circuit 2007,+modern+ammonition&hl=en&as_sdt=2003

Anonymous said...

If Charlotte has damascus barrels, do not shoot shells loaded with smokeless powder. Use shells loaded with black powder only. Old damascus barrels can't take the pressure of smokeless powder, especially if there is any rust in the twist welds. If you can't load black powder shells, you can find them on the net.

- Old Greybeard

AJ said...

Lookin' good. The procedure was a complete success.

AJ said...

BTW, here is a 12 to gauge adaptor. Just what the doctor ordered.

Anonymous said...

Mike, I have a 12 gauge pistol that came from SE Asia. It came home dismantled and packed in several pieces of stereo equipment. It is about the size of a Colt Commander and the end of the shotgun shell is about one inch from the end of the barrel. To say the least, I am afraid of shooting it since the recoil just might cause it to pop me in the forehead. From my understanding, the "Judge" .410 revolvers use the loophole of having a rifled barrel. If that is true, maybe I could start making some 12 gauge pistols with a very short rifled barrel. Sure would make a nifty pocket pal.

Anonymous said...

Be sure and send him a couple of fired shells to go with those barrel tips. That'l make his gift even more illegaler in NY!


Glockamole said...

I always though that girl needed a nose job. She looks better than I've ever seen her.

Anonymous said...

"Just the tip, I promise"