Thursday, January 15, 2009

Obama's Gun Grabber Rag

Phil Ochs' Draft Dodger Rag was always a favorite of mine, and it seemed like a good tune to rip off for a 21st Century rag. Here is Gun Grabber Rag from the perspective of one of the soon-to-be President's soon-to-be Domestic Defense Forces.

Obama's Gun Grabber Rag

Well, I'm just a typical liberal boy, from a typical liberal town
I believe in Gaia and Princess Leia and keepin' those Christians down.
And when it came my time to serve I knew it wouldn't be fun
But now I'm sent for disarmament to take some redneck's gun.

Sarge, I'm only eighteen and my dad's a queen, and my mom is a welfare slob
I ain't no hero, just a slacker zero and I ain't never had no job.
I'm as scared can be of gettin' shot you see, and I never heard a bullet fly.
And I know my mama voted for Obama but I don't wanna die.

The Brady Bunch will buy my lunch if I live long enough to eat
But if they really want to seize them guns, why ain't they on this street?
So here's my stack about to attack some pretty little house so dear
But bullets are flyin' and I ain't lying -- I shit my pants in fear.

Sarge, I'm only eighteen and my dad's a queen, and my mom is a welfare slob
I ain't no hero, just a slacker zero and I ain't never had no job.
I'm as scared can be of gettin' shot you see, and now I've heard a bullet fly.
And I know my mama voted for Obama but I don't wanna die.

Now I hate Larry Pratt but this is com-bat so I think you gotta see
That someone's gotta go through that door and that someone isn't me
But I wish you well, Sarge, give 'em hell, kill me a thousand or so
And if you ever get a war without blood and gore then I'll be the first to go.

Sarge, I'm only eighteen and my dad's a queen, and my mom is a welfare slob
I ain't no hero, just a slacker zero and I ain't never had no job.
I'm as scared can be of gettin' shot you see, and now I've heard a bullet fly.
And I know my mama voted for Obama but I don't wanna die.

3 comments:

j3maccabee said...

THIS is a poetic masterpiece, a rare combination of satire and parody and truth. I can visualize a music video here!!! Love it.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Those are great lyrics! Was that the Battle of Sipsey Street?

Anonymous said...

Wow. Wow! I think one good parody song passed around by email generating snickers is worth three weeks of "serious" posts. L. Neil Smith does banjo or guitar or somesuch, maybe he would record it for you. Consider making an album along with Poor White Boys, the Battle Hymn of the Republic parody on TLE, and who knows what else you could dream up.