Note to the moron in Louisiana who sent ricin to Mayor Bloomberg.

Ricin: Almost never deadly

Markov appears to be the only person to have been assassinated in a ricin attack in more than three decades. That's because to succeed, such an attack requires ricin to be directly injected, or in some other way be to directly ingested, by the victim. That makes ricin a poor choice for a terrorist trying to inflict mass casualties.

Further notes for Threepers. Even in a hypothetical 4th generation warfare conflict in an American context, ricin fails the test as a proper weapon for resistance forces.

A. When mailed in an envelope it is indiscriminate, thus cannot be guaranteed not to harm innocents other than the presumptive target.

B. Regime warmakers (the proper target for 4GW) do not open their own mail, thus they are hardly likely to look on such attacks as frightening. (Who among the Mandarin class cares if postal workers or secretaries are harmed?) The target for 4GW is the decision-making few inches of grey matter between the tyrants' ears. Even a fatality caused by ricin is at most a mere inconvenience and hardly likely to influence their behavior.

C. Because ricin delivered in this manner is both inefficient and indiscriminate it discredits the side that uses it.

D. Then there's the matter of timing, that pesky "No Fort Sumters" business. Such attacks now are also premature and thus morally repugnant and politically stupid.

E. Thus, while ricin letters are perfect weapons for a false flag attack by the regime, they fail the 4GW test a a proper weapon for insurgents.

What is a proper weapon? A precision-guided munition in the form of a rifle bullet targeted specifically at a known decision-maker -- after the regime initiates the war. That is a weapon that they both understand and fear. (See Diane Feinstein's obsession with .50 caliber rifles, for example.)

Pretty geriatric "militia." What does ricin have to do with "saving the Constitution"? The only idiots I ever heard interested in ricin were neoNazis.

Call me skeptical:

Four North Georgia men charged in alleged covert militia plot.

Four North Georgia men, alleged members of a fringe militia group, on Tuesday were charged with trying to buy explosives and make a deadly toxin to use in attacks against federal law enforcement agencies and unidentified officials.

Federal authorities said the men had held clandestine militia meetings, beginning in March, in which they discussed using toxic agents and assassinations to undermine federal and state government.

The four men taken into federal custody were: Frederick Thomas, 73, of Cleveland; and Toccoa residents Dan Roberts, 67; Ray H. Adams, 65; and Samuel J. Crump, 68.

U.S. Attorney Sally Yates said that as the U.S. government focuses on terrorist threats by violent international extremists, “This case demonstrates that we must also remain vigilant in protecting our country from citizens within our borders who threaten our safety and security.”

Thomas, Roberts, Adams and others who attended the meetings discussed targeting various government officials, federal authorities said. The meetings were monitored by the FBI and secretly tape recorded by a confidential informant helping the FBI, according to sworn affidavits unsealed Tuesday.

Roberts’ wife, Margaret, 59, said last night that she was shocked by the day’s developments, which included FBI agents handcuffing her while they searched the rural Toccoa home she has shared with her husband for more than two decades.

“My husband would not hurt anybody and anybody who knows him knows he wouldn’t hurt anybody,” Margaret Roberts said, her voice trembling. “Dan has always respected the law. He’s never had a problem with the law.”

Thomas was described in affidavits as a leading speaker at the meetings. He discussed having a “bucket list” of government officials, business leaders and members of the media who needed to be “taken out” to “make the country right again,” the affidavit said.

Thomas also said he was a military veteran who had been to war and had taken a life, and said he could do it again, the affidavit said.

“There’s no way for us, as militiamen, to save this country, to save Georgia, without doing something that’s highly illegal: murder,” Thomas said during a meeting in March, according to the affidavit. "...When it comes to saving the Constitution, that means some people gotta die."

Dan Roberts said he knew people in Habersham County who had a substance that could kill people, the affidavit said, and the discussion next turned to ways to obtain castor beans. Castor beans are used to make ricin, a deadly toxin that can be fatal if inhaled or ingested.

During a September meeting, also secretly recorded, Crump said he wanted to make 10 pounds of ricin and disperse it in various U.S. cities, including Atlanta, the affidavits said. Crump said ricin could be blown from a car traveling on the interstates, the affidavit said. Adams is accused of trying to help Crump obtain ricin for use as a weapon, authorities said.

As recently as last week, Crump allegedly said he was going to begin shelling the castor beans, and Adams said he had a formula to make ricin and identified ways to get the necessary ingredients for it, the affidavits said.

Anybody ever heard of these guys?

Absolved and the Georgia Geriatric Terrorist Gang in the federal warrant.

Since the last post, I have received a copy of the indictment and also, from another source, this explanation:

"Obviously, our people in Georgia are very interested in ‘Absolved’ and the arrests over there. I saw on your blog that you won’t talk until someone tells you how the story broke. It’s pretty simple – the feds sent a news release yesterday. Also yesterday, the indictment was unsealed. It mentions ‘Absolved.’"

BACKGROUND OF THE INVESTIGATION

5. On March 17, 2011 the government's confidential human source (CHS1) consensually recorded a clandestine meeting involving members of a fringe group of a known militia organizationl with the fringe group calling itself the "covert group." The meeting occurred at the residence of Frederick W. Thomas (THOMAS) located at 2265 Dean Mountain Road, Cleveland, Georgia, 30528 1 and attendees at the meeting included THOMAS, Emory Dan Roberts (ROBERTS), and others. At the outset of this meeting, the attendees began discussing and then displaying various weapons each one was carrying on his person. THOMAS mentioned to the group that he had enough weapons to arm everyone at the table. ROBERTS and CHSl either did not have weapons, or did not make them visible.

6. THOMAS became the primary speaker for the meeting and began discussing overt and covert operations for the group. He mentioned a fictional novel he had read on-line in which an antigovernment group killed a large number of federal Department of Justice attorneys, and then he stated, "Now of course, that's just fiction, but that's a damn good idea. 1I THOMAS described a scenario in which he felt would be the "line in the sand" that would result in the activation of militias. THOMAS believed that soon, during a protest action, a protestor would be shot. It is his opinion the militias would act and respond by openly attacking the police. He then openly discussed having compiled what he called the "Bucket List" which is a list of government employees, politicians, corporate leaders and members of the media he feels needed to be "taken out" to "make the country right again." THOMAS told the group he sent the list to a web blog.

7. During the meeting, THOMAS made the following statements:

a. "The right people have to be taken down, and taken down soon."
b. "There is no way for us, as militiamen, to save this country, to save Georgia, without doing something that's highly highly illegal. Murder. That's fucking
illegal, but it's gotta be done."
c. "When it comes time to saving the Constitution, that means some people gotta die."

8. When murder was mentioned, ROBERTS said he knew people in Habersham County [Georgia] who had a substance that could kill people with a very small amount. CHS1 suggested ROBERTS was talking about ricin, and someone else agreed, adding that ricin is made from castor beans. The conversation then went into a discussion about castor beans and possible ways to obtain them.

9. THOMAS spoke of the need for the group to acquire more weapons, ammo, food, and survival gear and then discussed the need for the group to establish a silent means of taking people out. THOMAS suggested silencers for handguns, stating, "In order to do what we want to do, take out the right people, we have to have some silent means of doing it. That means suppressors on handguns."

10. THOMAS stated they needed to find a machinist with the ability to manufacture silencers and not register them with the ATF. THOMAS said this was necessary to prevent them from being traced back to an owner if they were lost. THOMAS also mentioned a gun store near the Georgia/South carolina border that manufactures silencers and he commented that they should consider "hitting the truck," meaning they should steal the silencers from the trucks.

11. On April 3, 2011, CHSI consensually recorded a meeting with THOMAS and ROBERTS at a restaurant in northeast Georgia. The attendees talked about acquiring ammunition and equipment, particularly silencers for firearms. THOMAS suggested that they buy, steal, make, or attack a manufacturer's truck in order to obtain the silencers. THOMAS also talked again about his "Bucket List" of people he thought should be killed. During the meeting, THOMAS stated that he thought they could "fight off a SWAT team." He also stated, "I've been to war, and I've taken life before, and I can do it again."

12. On April 16, 2011, CHSI consensually recorded another meeting of the "covert group, /I again at the residence of THOMAS located at 2265 Dean Mountain Road, Cleveland, Georgia, 30528. Attendees included CHSl, THOMAS, ROBERTS and others. During the meeting THOMAS discussed the need for the group to start moving forward with taking action in some of their previously discussed plans, including a number of assassinations on various government officials.

13. THOMAS also explained to the others present that he intended to model their actions on the plot of an online novel called Absolved. The plot of Absolved involves small groups of citizens attacking United States federal law enforcement
representatives and federal judges. THOMAS expressed his belief that they should conduct a number of assassinations on various government officials, and he particularly expressed a desire to kill Department of Justice (DOJ) and Internal Revenue Service (IRS) employees.

14. During the meeting, THOMAS made the following statements:
a. "Civilian government operatives is who we're going to be shooting at: IRS, ATF, FBI, and the COpS."
b. "Who is the primary topics, targets? DOJ. Everybody in DOJ. That includes judges, ATF, IRS, and the hierarchy thereof."
c. "I could shoot ATF and IRS all day long. All the judges and the DOJ and the attorneys and prosecutors."

15. On April 29, 2011 and April 30, 2011, CHS1 consensually recorded conversations between, CHS1, THOMAS and ROBERTS while traveling to and from a meeting held in south Georgia on 04/30/2011. During a conversation on April 30, 2011, THOMAS mentioned that, while at the meeting, he spoke to a second confidential source (CHS2) about acquiring silencers. THOMAS reiterated the need for the group to obtain silencers to shoot people quietly. THOMAS suggested they obtain unregistered, .22 caliber long rifles, cut them down and thread them to accommodate a silencer. During the ride, THOMAS asked ROBERTS whether he (ROBERTS) thought they should try to grow their group larger, "or stick to what we are planning on, assassinating 4 or 5 guys and that's it?" ROBERTS replied, "I think probably we need both."

16. On May 17, 2011, CHS1 met with THOMAS and ROBERTS to further discuss the group's plans. (This meeting was not recorded. ) CHS1 reported that THOMAS indicated the group was ready to move forward with acquiring silencers. At some point in the conversation, explosives were mentioned and THOMAS became very excited and said the group really needed to get some explosives. THOMAS mentioned that he is very disgruntled with the IRS and the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms (ATF). THOMAS indicated that he was considering driving to the Atlanta area to survey/locate IRS and ATF buildings.

The warrant also says that "Agents also learned that THOMAS's e-mail address (is) ahab627@windstream.net."

I checked my email logs alphabetically for sent and received and found no emails displayed from that address, but there was an "Ahab" who posted comments on the blog using blogger and I rather suspect that this was him. I have made no effort as yet to track down his posts, if they are his.

Reuters gets it right (right down to my full head of gray hair).

Alabama blogger derides alleged deadly plot by Georgia men.

BIRMINGHAM, Ala (Reuters) - An Alabama blogger whose online novel was cited as inspiration for four Georgia men's alleged plot to kill federal employees said on Thursday he had no connection to them and doubted they posed any real threat to the public.

Federal authorities arrested the four men, aged 65 to 73, this week and accused them of being members of a domestic fringe militia group that planned attacks using explosives and the deadly biological toxin ricin.

A federal grand jury indicted the men on Thursday. Frederick Thomas, 73, and Emory Dan Roberts, 67, were charged with conspiracy to possess an unregistered explosive device and possession of an unregistered silencer, court records show.

Samuel J. Crump, 68, and Ray H. Adams, 65, were charged with conspiracy to possess and produce a biological toxin and attempted production of a biological toxin.

The FBI said Thomas, described as the group's leader, wanted to model their actions on the novel "Absolved," in which small groups of citizens attack federal law enforcement officers and federal judges.

But the novel's author, former militiaman Mike Vanderboegh, derided the group as the "Georgia Geriatric Gang" and said they misinterpreted the intent of his book.

"There is no mention of ricin. No mention of weapons of mass destruction. No non-targeted assassinations," Vanderboegh told Reuters.

Thomas said he had compiled a "bucket list" of government employees, politicians, corporate leaders and media members he felt needed to be "taken out" to "make the country right again," according to court documents.

BOOK AS WARNING

Vanderboegh said writing about a fictitious civil war was his way of preventing a real one, using the scenario in his book as a warning of how people will rebel if federal laws continue to erode their personal liberty.

"If you want to maintain your liberty, the first thing you don't engage in is Fort Sumters and Oklahoma Citys," said Vanderboegh, 59.

Fort Sumter in South Carolina is where the first shots of the American Civil War were fired in 1861, and Oklahoma City was the site of the 1995 bombing of a federal building by Timothy McVeigh that killed 168 people.

A right-wing blogger on a site called Sipsey Street Irregulars, Vanderboegh regularly skewers the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives and other government agencies.

Last year, he was denounced for his call for people to pelt their local Democratic headquarters' windows with rocks to protest President Barack Obama's health care bill.

Vanderboegh, who has served as a Minuteman on the U.S.-Mexican border, is retired and lives on disability checks in Pinson, Alabama, outside of Birmingham. He has been called "The Gray Eminence of the Constitutional Militia," a title he prefers due to his full head of gray hair.

Vanderboegh said he was skeptical of whether the four jailed Georgia suspects were even capable of acts of domestic terrorism.

He also expressed suspicion about the credibility of the FBI's confidential informant, who assisted authorities by recording the group's conversations over many months this year. Court records note the informant faces pending state felony charges and gave "less-than-truthful responses" about the militia group's activities during a polygraph test.

"They are old codgers who talk real big and got talked into foolishness by an FBI informant who could not pass a lie detector test," Vanderboegh said.

FOX: Author of Novel Cited by Georgia Militia Suspects Says His Work Was Misinterpreted.

More on the "blood soaked novel."

The author of an online novel cited by four Georgia men who allegedly sought to kill U.S. law enforcement officials and federal judges said his work has been misinterpreted.

Mike Vanderboegh, of Pinson, Ala., said his novel, "Absolved," which is set to be published in book form later this year, was "intended to communicate the fact that another Civil War is possible" in the United States.

"The federal government has been pushing the limits of liberty back in this country for many, many years, and my point was, at some undetermined moment in the future, someone is going to determine that they're not going to be pushed around anymore," Vanderboegh told FoxNews.com. "It is what it is … it's a terrible description of what might happen if people continue to be victimized in this country."

Federal authorities say members of the fringe militia group said they intended to model their actions on Vanderboegh's work, although the author's name is not listed in indictments charging the four men. The suspects, Frederick Thomas, 73, Dan Roberts, 67, Ray Adams, 65, and Samuel Crump, 68, all live in the north Georgia towns of Cleveland and Toccoa.

The men, according to court documents, had been discussing "covert" operations since at least March, considering murder, theft and the use of toxic agents like ricin to undermine state and federal government.

"What kind of moron uses the phrase 'save the Constitution' and then goes out to try and distribute ricin?" Vanderboegh said. "This has got to be the Alzheimer's gang. What political point is made there? I don't understand what was going on in the minds of these Georgia idiots."

Vanderboegh, who has closely followed the botched federal investigation known as "Fast and Furious," also runs a whistleblower website called Sipsey Street Irregulars. He said it appears that at least one of the men charged had visited his website and left comments, but he denied having any personal contact with the men.

"I am responsible for this as Tom Clancy is for 9/11, which is to say not at all," he said.

Vanderboegh said he has not been contacted by law enforcement authorities in connection to Tuesday's arrests, and he characterized the matter as a "misinterpretation of a piece of fiction."

Citing department policy, a Department of Justice source declined to indicate whether authorities had interviewed Vanderboegh or plan to do so.

"If we begin to treat fiction as grounds for legal action against the author because someone misinterprets it or uses a tactic from the book," Vanderboegh said, "then the First Amendment no longer exists."

No sooner do I note the Georgia Geriatric Terrorist Plot than I am dragged into it, courtesy of our Gunwalker apologists at TPM (and apparently DOJ).

I kid you not.

A confidential FBI source recorded a “clandestine meeting” that took place on St. Patrick’s Day of this year at Thomas’ house, where Thomas, Roberts and others allegedly discussed how to obtain castor beans to make ricin. Thomas, who allegedly lead the meeting, mentioned a fictional novel he read online in which an anti-government group killed a large number of Justice Department attorneys.

The online novel is question is called “Absolved.” It’s written by Mike Vanderboegh, a right-wing blogger and former militia man who lives on government disability checks, has been featured on Fox News in relation to the Fast and Furious scandal, is on Rep. Darrell Issa’s press release distribution list and previously advocated on his blog “Sipsey Street Irregulars” for opponents of the health care law to throw bricks through the windows of Democratic members of Congress. In reaction to the arrests, Vanderboegh called those arrested a “geriatric ‘militia’” and said he was “skeptical” of the charges.

Thomas allegedly thought Vanderboegh’s fictional plot would work pretty well in real life.

“Now of course, that’s just fictional, but that’s a damn good idea,” Thomas allegedly said of Vanderboegh’s novel. An FBI affidavit said he described a scenario in which there would be a “line in the sand” that could result in the activation of militias. He allegedly claimed he compiled a “bucket list” of government employees, politicians, corporate leaders and members of the media who would needed to be “taken out” to “make the country right again.”

I gotta tell you, TPM Muckraker must be sitting on my site all the time these days, since I didn't post that reaction to the "Georgia Geriatric Terrorist Plot" until last night. I especially like the "lives on government disability checks" line. That really seems to chap their ass, that I am recovering the money extorted from me by Social Security for over four decades and using it to bite the hand of their benevolent Federal Leviathan. I love it when they bring that up.

My as-yet-unpublished novel Absolved, for the uninitiated, begins with the premise that the ATF, for political agenda reasons of their own, has staged a deadly raid on the wrong Alabama good old boy from Winston County and what happens in the unintended consequences of that stupidity. There is nothing in there about ricin, or terrorist attacks on civilians (unless you count the forces of the federal government) or deliberate targeting of innocents. And did I mention that it is FICTION?

Of course the chapter referred to is Chapter 32, "Ten Thousand Lawyers." I published that a couple of years ago in three parts, here, here, and here.

The piece begins:

Question: “What’s ten thousand lawyers at the bottom of the sea?”

Answer: “A good start.” – An old lawyer joke.

The chapter explores the nexus in any tyrannical bureaucracy of its lawyers, and how targeting them can cripple the intentions of the evil bad guys who commit crimes under color of law. This is hardly an original idea in history.

Of course, I also wrote this at the time:

I offer this as evidence I that I try to make my fiction as real as possible. Still, it is important to remember that it IS still fiction. For now anyway. Whether it remains so is not up to me, unfortunately, but up to people who have no understanding of the titanic forces they are playing with.

Of course, TPM Muckraker did not bother to quote from the Introduction to Absolved, also available on the net:

Another civil war in this country is the last thing I want.

So why write about one? Perhaps, as David Brin, author of the magnificent book The Postman (which bears no resemblance to the Costner cinematic flop) wrote in a forward to a reprint of Pat Frank's classic Alas, Babylon:

Two books that emerged at roughly the same time as Alas, Babylon were Eugene Burdick's Fail Safe and Peter George's Red Alert, which later inspired Stanley Kubrick to make the magnificently humorous and thoughtful Dr. Strangelove. As archetypes of the useful dire warning, each dissected a specific possible failure mode, bringing it to the awareness of so many that, ironically, their particular type of debacle became much less likely. Indeed, the "self-preventing prophecy" may be the highest and most useful species in all of the vast, imaginative genus of speculative fiction. In much the same way that Orwell's 1984 girded millions against "Big Brother," these tales may have helped to keep their own nightmares from coming true. In other words, our most vivid nightmares may have been utterly practical, helping to save our lives. -- David Brin, Foreward to the First Harper Perennial Modern Classics Edition of Pat Frank's Alas, Babylon, 2005, p. X.

Absolved is fiction. I hope it is a "useful dire warning." However, I am as much to blame for the Georgia Geriatric Terrorist Gang as Tom Clancy is for Nine Eleven.

Not that it matters to TPM Muckraker and their ilk.

LATER: Or, for that matter, Media Matters.

And even later: Mother Jones, the Associated Press, the Huffington Post and even FOX.

Wow. In the artillery that's what they call a "Time on Target" salvo, where all the shells from a variety of tubes lands at the same place and the same time.

Gee, why am I not surprised?

‘Pro-Gun’ Ricin mailer turns out to be Hollywood anti-gunner

Since this was supposedly all my fault, I wonder why no one called me as a witness?

Georgia men convicted of ricin plot against government officials.

Well, two milestones in one day. "There ain't no live and let live with bugs."

Wyatt! Wyatt! They hit Clum's house too, shot up his wife. His wife! Whoever heard of that? They're bugs, Wyatt. All that smart talk about live and let live. There ain't no live and let live with bugs. -- Tombstone, 1993.

Folks,

When I opened the mail today, I got a surprise. An Easter card with what was apparently dried birdshit in it, i.e., an unidentified brown and white powder that had been placed in the card when wet.

I was careful opening the card, figuring it was a threat. Didn't figure on that though. If I breathed any of it it was only a particle or two. So, having consulted the experts here and after two hours having experienced no ricin symptoms (and I immediately began taking Cipro in case of anthrax), I will simply turn over the letter tomorrow to the local law along with the other death threats.

I was on my way to pick up my daughter at school. If this was weaponized anything it might have killed her too. These assholes didn't care whether they killed or terrorized her. Bugs.

I could panic and hit the emergency room, but I don't have the co-pay and that would be giving the filthy collectivist prick a victory. I must admit that I am starting to develop a healthy hate, one that I must guard against if I do not want to become the same kind of beast that collectivism apparently manufactures so easily out of these godless assholes. Acting like bugs, they've just about got me convinced of their absolute lack of any humanity.

As I have written before, when you can think of them as bugs, as they think of us, it makes it easier to kill them. I am now to the point where I almost DO think of them as bugs. Like Zander to the Brain Bug in Starship Troopers, I want to scream,

"One day, somebody like me is going to kill you, and your whole fucking race!"

Collectivism has finally convinced me that it is a race unto its own. They have also demonstrated that this is an existential war of extermination, one way or another.

Them or us.

I vote them.

They still have to shoot first. But it will be the last temporary advantage they get.

There ain't no live and let live with bugs.

Mike
III

FBI Standard Operating Procedure -- a hyped up case, a Bureau political agenda, a dirty lying snitch, and punishment for the credulous dupes. Georgia Geriatic "Militia" members sentenced.

"Ga. Senior Citizen Militia Members Get Five Years In Prison."

Two members of a Georgia militia arrested in a disrupted plot to kill government officials last year were each sentenced to five years in prison Wednesday after pleading guilty to conspiring to obtain an unregistered explosive device and silencer.

Frederick Thomas, a 73-year-old from Cleveland, Ga., and 68-year-old Dan Roberts of Toccoa, Ga., were each sentenced to five years in prison, followed by three years of supervised release. Both were members of fringe militia organization they referred to as a “covert group.” Federal authorities arrested them in November 2011 for allegedly plotting to attack U.S. citizens and federal employees using the biological toxin ricin. Their alleged targets included Attorney General Eric Holder and former Georgia Rep. Cynthia McKinney.

One reason the feds might have chosen not to pursue further charges: Joe Sims, the FBI’s confidential informant in the case wasn’t exactly an upstanding citizen. Sims was accused of molesting his step children and failed a polygraph test after claiming to know about a plot to blow up buildings in Atlanta, according to a story in Esquire earlier this year. . .

The feds alleged that the plot was inspired by the online novel “Absolved,” which was written by Mike Vanderboegh, the blogger who wrote some of the first posts about the ATF’s Fast and Furious scandal.

Be sure and read the Esquire article here: "Counter-Terrorism Is Getting Complicated. Especially in the case of the Waffle House terrorists, where it may be the Department of Homeland Security that's fomenting terror."

"Ricin Terror Plot Inspired by Lunatic Fringe Blogger Mike Vanderboegh" says FBI Fellatio Artist & Investigator of Privates Bill Warner.

Two can play at headline games.

Private Detective Bill Warner is a member of the FBI Partner InfraGard.

Elvis didn't do it. So who did?

Charges dropped against Miss. man accused of sending ricin-laced letters to Obama, others.

"Georgia Geriatric Terror Gang" at their arraignment.

Atlanta Urinal & Constipation sez -- Feds: Men got terror ideas from underground novel

In the violent underground novel "Absolved," right-wing militia members upset about gun control make war against the U.S. government. This week, federal prosecutors accused four elderly Georgia men of plotting to use the book as a script for a real-life wave of terror and assassination involving explosives and the highly lethal poison ricin.

Not quite an accurate characterization of Absolved, but then they hardly would focus on chapters like Deacon. Doesn't fit the meme at all.

The interesting thing to me in the story is the two court artist sketches of these scary bad terrorists that the Fibbies took so much time and energy to bring down.


Ray Adams, left, and Samuel Crump are shown in this artist rendering as he appear in a federal courtroom in Gainesville, Ga., Wednesday, Nov. 2, 2011. The men and two others are accused of planning a terror attack. (AP Photo/Richard Miller)


Dan Roberts, left, and Frederick Thomas are shown in this artist rendering as he appear in a federal courtroom in Gainesville, Ga., Wednesday, Nov. 2, 2011. The two and two other men are accused of planning a terror attack. (AP Photo/Richard Miller)

They're cupping their hands to hear the judge because they're all hard of hearing. Now that probably worked in the favor of the paid snitches, don't you think?

A third milestone today: Highway to HAZMAT Hell.

Folks,

I'm beat but I have to get this out now. Tomorrow I won't want to do it.

So, here I am, at 1500DCT, with an Easter card with brown and white powder in it. I bag it up. After about an hour and a half I reach a doctor friend by phone to find out what I should do. We agree that the principal potential threats are ricin and anthrax. "Probably just birdshit," he says. "Right." "Just watch for symptoms and get to the hospital if you start to develop any." "Right." "I'll call (someone in the Coroner's office) to find out what to do with the card and call you later." "Thanks a lot."

Sometime after five he calls back. I'm to call 9-1-1 for a cop to come by, pick it up and take it to a postal inspector. Sounds simple, right?

Hoo, boy, howdy.

The last fire truck, cop car and the SUV containing the FBI WMD expert finally left about 23:30CDT. There were at one point 14 vehicles with flashing lights outside, a neighborhood crowd, a cameraman from Channel 13 and a reporter from the Pinson News. (Everyone will spell my name right in their reports but the Pinson News.)

Remember the scene in Monsters, Inc. when the sock from the human world gets stuck on some hapless monster? You now have some sense of what it was like. Oh, they didn't do the strip and dip on me, but they approached my beat-up Blazer like it contained the entire Iranian nuclear program.

At one point, I offered to go fetch the zip-lock from the Blazer myself and drop it in one of their HAZMAT diaper bags. They looked stricken, as if I had just proposed that each of them take off all their clothes and run down the street screaming, "Look at me!" "What?" I asked. "You don't do trick-or-treat?"

No, they all assured me, they did not, and the youngest cop who took the report, looked like he would shoot me if I went near the vehicle.

I'm going to leave out most of the crap I had to go through, but the next time this happens, rather than go through what I just did, I'm going to mutter under my breath that the public health folks can go diddle themselves and I'm going to bury it in the front yard under the bushes. Sheesh.

The FBI, it seems, has jurisdiction for all WMD, even if it is birdshit, which it may not be, so OK. Said birdshit is now on its way to the lab in Montgomery. And I will have to be answering some Fibbie questions tomorrow by phone. (Yes, I will tape it.)

What a day.

Mike
III