Thursday, May 19, 2011
How I discovered today that I can't go to Hell.
So this morning, I went to one of my six different doctors. Rosey went with me because she has been diagnosed with a possible gall bladder problem. My co-pays vary from $35 a pop to $50 a pop for specialists. Rosey's ultrasound, done by the hospital associated with her GP, charges a $200 co-pay every time they do a special procedure like an x-ray or ultrasound. We had to negotiate the billing before she could get the test done today.
Mind you, all this is standard in the industry and certainly my own health problems are pretty much my fault as the logical payback for 35 years of dissolute living. No whining here. But after paying my own co-pays today, a silver lining to this financial cloud suddenly occurred to me.
"You know," I said to the clerk, "I've just had an epiphany."
"How's that?" she asked, with a look on her face that told me she probably didn't know what an epiphany was.
"I just realized that I can't go to Hell."
"Yeah, I can't go to Hell, I just figured it out."
"I don't have the co-pay. They won't let me in."
Realizing she'd been insulted, she just harrumphed and turn to ask the other clerk about something.
Two of the other patients laughed, though. One of them laughed his ass off, in fact.
Well, like the old song says, let a smile be your umbrella.