Saturday, October 10, 2015

Well, folks, that's probably it for today.

My oldest daughter Hannah gets married later on today so I will be a little busy, what with one thing and another. I MAY have more later, but don't count on it. I was persuaded under threat of family ostracism of the necessity of renting a tux for the occasion (which cost me darn near $200 I couldn't afford) but Rosey says I clean up well. I'll have someone take a picture. The last time I wore a tux was, what, 35-40 years ago, for my brother's wedding and the color HE chose was bright yellow. I looked like a 500 pound canary. In my black tux with all the weight the various cancers have stripped off me, I now look like a cadaverous undertaker. Which, I suppose, is an improvement over a 500 pound canary. I don't recommend my diet plan, however. Pray for me -- not for my health mind you, but for the self-control to hold my tongue and my temper until the ceremonies are over. The boy's okay. He meets my oft-stated minimum requirements:
1. He must love her (and I am persuaded that he does).
2. She must love him (ditto).
3. He must be a hard worker and be able to provide for my daughter. He is.
4. He must be a shooter and be able to field strip a Colt M1911. He is and does.
5. He must be willing and able to take a bullet for Hannah if required. I am persuaded that he is.
So, you may ask, what is it that I must hold my tongue and my temper for? Can you keep a secret? Well, so can I. Just keep me in your prayers.


Anonymous said...

you have a terrific sense of humor Dutchman..

Anonymous said...

I had to rent a tuxedo a couple of years ago for a wedding even though I own a perfectly serviceable one - mine wasn't the right clothe and pattern for the bride. That rental cost more than mine did to buy!
May discretion be the better part of your valor today and may you be like the wise man who says nothing when he has nothing good to say. Safe travels!

Anonymous said...

I'd love to see the picture. You're a distinguished gentleman in my book. Congrats to your daughter!


Anonymous said...

Hopefully, it's a boy.

Bad Cyborg said...

Congrats, Old Man. Sounds like you're getting a fairly good one as sons-in-law go. Gotta take what you get. I'm mot all that whoopie about the one I got but he renders a son's respect and that is all I require in return for which I deliver a Father's duty. He's never been anything but respectful to me and my lady and he loves our daughter.

Re the tux. I have only worn a tux once - for my son's wedding. I was best man. Stood up beside my Dad when he and my mom remarried so it only seemed fitting. Anyhow I looked like the world's largest emperor penguin - with a purple sash! Tux fit OK and wasn't too uncomfortable. It was the damned SHOES I hated! I figure when the Torquemada family got out of the business of torturing heretics, they went into making rental SHOES. I swear those shoes must've come from the Torquemada and Sons shoe factory. My dogs weren't barking they were crying piteously! I swore I'd NEVER wear a tux again. That was in '92 so far I've kept my promise.

Best wishes, old son. Enjoy the day. Hope you get to hold their babies some day soon. Grandchildren are about the only good thing about getting old.

Rhodes said...

Good job dad

Anonymous said...

The new son-in-law ain't bad at all. Believe me you and your daughter could do a lot worse.

Anonymous said...

The open secret is that no dude is ever good enough for our daughters - especially when they are.
The reason is, especially when it comes to weddings is that, well, we fathers are guys and and all us guys know full the ummm well errrr the "benefits" of getting married...

But if it comes out he votes Democrat Mike, we are all coming to the rescue with a vengeance. :)-

Sedition said...

Congrats to your daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law!
May they spend a lifetime of happiness together! And may any offspring turn out to be a cantankerous and honorable an individual as their Grandfather.

Anonymous said...

As a divorced guy who attended my daughter's wedding along with the ex-wife, I know exactly what you mean about holding your tongue and temper.

I smiled a lot and said very little.


Joe said...

Congrats to your daughter, and best wishes and prayers to all
family and friends of the bride and the groom.