So, my oldest daughter is back from college, meaning I am now outnumbered once again 3 to 1. This has necessitated a certain rearrangement in my schedule. No more beauty sleep for me. If I want hot water for my shower and shave, I have to get up before the line forms and get there first. No matter that both daughters have had long, soaking beauty baths the night before, they still must have their showers. The people who designed our hot water heater did not plan for the worst-case scenario of my daughters.
Then there's the inexplicable. There are are now, within the tub/shower enclosure, THIRTEEN BOTTLES of stuff -- various shampoos, conditioners, shampoo/conditioners, body washes, "deep cleansers" (whatever the hell that is) -- and that's not counting the bars of soap.
Note for the record: I use one bottle of cheap-grade shampoo and a bar of soap. I don't even use shaving cream to shave, just hot water.
If we had ROOM for all this mess in the shower it would be one thing, but every time I turn around I'm knocking something else off the little shelf that they precariously balance all this stuff on.
Thirteen. That's not counting all the mousses and gels they litter the the sink counter top with.
Okay, fine, I can deal with that. But when I begin my daily face scraping and discover that my razor -- MY razor! -- has been used on female-type legs since the morning previous, thus ruining it for painless shaving. . . (expletive deleted). I usually wake the little sleeping darlings with my screams and curses. Lord above, is ALL female leg hair made of hardened steel? Once a razor has been used on a female leg, it is ruined for male facial work. But do they content themselves with merely "borrowing" ONE of my razors? Noooooo. When I replace the ruined one witha new one from my hidden stash, they just grab that one too. Now I'm -- correction, THEY'RE -- going through one razor a day. I am a poor man. I can't afford this excrement.
Of course, I'll probably go certifiably insane before the summer's out and both are safely (safely?) back in college, so whether or not I have a serviceable razor then will not matter. I'll probably have to be shaved by an attendant as my arms will be pinned in a straight jacket.
Something to look forward to . . . At least the razor will be sharp.