Saturday, December 3, 2011

Strange synchronicities of weird dreams and the waking world. That turkey chili will get you every time.

"I'm not making this up, you know."

Let me preface this by saying that I am not making this up, although that fact may actually work against me at the sanity hearing.

So, very early this morning, in that sleep you get just before you wake, a Monty Python sketch was going off in my head. At least Eric Idle and John Cleese were in it. It had been a night of vivid dreams, and this was the last.

Eric Idle was sitting behind the BBC news desk, and began his next story:

"The Chief Warlock of Great Britain swore an oath of vengeance today on the grave of his pet chicken, Rupert. The Ministry fears that the death of the bird, which Scotland Yard has tentatively determined was the victim of a Santeria cult ceremony, may set off a pagan civil war. Tensions were heightened early this morning when the bodies of two Wiccan witches were discovered in the Forest of Ewing, however hasty autopsies conducted by authorities indicated that they had died of exposure while running naked through the woods at Winter Solstice."

Cut to John Cleese in a Sherlock Holmes cap and pipe, standing in front of a forest.

"Silly bleeders."

Then I woke up.


Now, I'm fairly certain that my brain, rather than Monty Python, assembled that sketch. So it was more than passing odd when I came downstairs, fired up the Dell and found this on Drudge:

North Miami Beach employees in hot water over alleged Santeria birdseed plot.

Weird. There's Santeria again. I don't suppose that I've thought about Santeria in a year, if that. Yet, there it was.

In retrospect, I blame Rosey's cuisine. Last night she made turkey chili, an unnatural combination if there ever was one. I was taught growing up that chili was a heavenly gift made of beef and beans that was, if not ordained by God, then certainly mentioned in Deuteronomy. Turkey chili, indeed.

No wonder I'm having ludicrous dreams of the Dark Side.

LATER: Rosey says that the turkey chili is good for my heart so I should be happy I'm having weird dreams. Wise, as usual.


tom said...

Yeah, but you're from Ohio, where something went wrong and people put beans in chili.

Speaking as a Texan: True Chili doesn't have beans in it and uses beef, either ground or chunked, depending on taste. Venison chili is acceptable on occasion, but turkey chili is an abominataion.

Anonymous said...

Mike, only an untutored heathen will put either beans or pasta in a stew and think it can still be referred to as "chilli".

Cincinnati OH in particularis in need of conversion to the true faith. Send them missionaries, and poblano peppers.

W W Woodward said...

Sounds like the makings for a new novel.

Turkey stew, maybe. Turkey and dumplings or turkey salad, okay. Turkey chili? ... It boggles the mind.

Only beef.


Anonymous said...

Or not.

Many years ago a co-worker of mine related the first time he asked his Native Peruvian wife to fix him some chili. She made it the way it is made by her people in the mountains of Peru. They evidently don't know a whole lot about TexMex cuisine in the mountains of Peru. To her people, Chile is a mixture of finely chopped chile peppers and finely chopped onions sauted together. No beef. No beans. Needless to say it wasn't quite what my co-worker expected.

Anonymous said...

Mike: All I can think of is the "Lesbian shooting contest" in Pinson, pausing only twice to reload and keep shooting...


Anonymous said...

The Wiccan thing is fully consistent with other Monty Python sketches. I don't recall a sketch along the lines of your dream, but it is entertaining.