Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Wow! Now I'm a British secret agent! With new lyrics to the song, "Secret Agent Man."

Who knew?

More importantly, where's my MI-6 back pay for the past 15 years?

Heck, I'd just settle for the $2 million Janet Reno owes me for identifying John Doe II.

By peeltheonion
March 30, 2010, 10:21AM

British Agents Caught (Again) In Terrorist Provocations Against U.S.

March 30, 2010 (LPAC)—British-run provocations are aiming to divert widespread hatred of Obama and his deathcare by a potential assassination and martyring of the President, as he is in their view, disposable damaged goods.

A British agent named Mike Vanderboegh, self-styled as an anti-government "militia" leader, boasted to the news media last week that he was behind the notorious bricking of Democrats' windows. This same Vanderboegh is organizing an armed provocation near Washington, planned for the anniversary of the April 19, 1995 Oklahoma City bombing.

He claims publicly he is not aiming at Obama's assassination. But Vanderboegh vilifies Abraham Lincoln as a mass murderer and says when the coming civil war starts, we on the anti-government side won't make the same mistakes the Confederacy made — we'll make sure the government starts shooting first.

- Creating a British "Militia" Agent -

Vanderboegh's entire career was created by the infamous British anti-U.S. operative Ambrose Evans-Pritchard.

While resident in the U.S. in the mid-1990s as Britain's Daily Telegraph Sunday Washington bureau chief, Evans-Pritchard set up a web of paramilitary groups tied into British intelligence and into corrupted U.S. military elements. Mike Vanderboegh and another Evans-Pritchard agent named Jon Roland, worked together as sub-leaders of the British gang running outright agents and deluded populists in the "militia" movement, which Evans-Pritchard and other British manipulators said was directed against then-President Bill Clinton.

In Evans-Pritchard's 1997 book The Secret Life of Bill Clinton, the Brit describes how he himself boosted Vanderboegh into the public eye, as his loyal follower in the wake of the 1995 terror-bombing of the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. Evans-Pritchard put Vanderboegh into action in the British attempt to control public perception of covert criminal activities, and to blunt possible exposure of the British role.

Evans-Pritchard wrote that with "the abdication of the grand press, Americans have had to turn elsewhere for a more illuminating perspective [on what was behind the bombing], notably the John Doe Times. It is an Internet cyber-journal published by a warehouse manager in Birmingham, Alabama — Mike Vanderboegh — dedicated to exposing evidence of a broader conspiracy."

Evans-Pritchard relates that Vanderboegh was a militia man — he doesn't let on that it was in the "Constitutional Militia," created by Jon Roland and the Evans-Pritchard gang beginning in 1994. He writes that Vanderboegh was put onto the bombing case in "a cordial meeting" with a Federal agent. "Vanderboegh's militia group had done a favor for the feds, helping them crack a case involving theft from a military base."

Vanderboegh began putting out his John Doe cyber-journal "explaining" the bombing after reading an Evans-Pritchard article, and getting in touch with Evans-Pritchard's contacts. The entire output of Vanderboegh's British-bilge John Doe Times from 1996-1997, is accessible on Jon Roland's website.

- The Murderous Provocation — A Rerun -

This April 19, the 15th anniversary of the terror bombing that killed 168 people, various witting and/or deluded participants plan to bring loaded automatic weapons to a rally at Fort Hunt National Park, south of Washington, D.C., to be incited by Mike Vanderboegh and his collaborators. They will then bring their weapons on buses up to Gravelly Point, directly across the Potomac River from the Washington Mall, seeking to goad a response from the Feds.

On his own website, Sipsey Street Irregulars, where Vanderboegh instructs readers on how to prepare for inevitable civil war, he has posted a current article from his "old compadre Ambrose Evans-Pritchard"—British propaganda piece pushing conflict between the U.S. and China.

The planned armed instigation repeats previous criminal actions by Evans-Pritchard's gang. A few days before the 1995 Oklahoma bombing, Jon Roland forwarded to militia participants a report put out by Lord Wiliam Rees-Mogg of the London Times, that the Clinton Administration would begin oppressing militia people, and would carry out a big terror bombing and blame it on the militias. He induced deluded militia men to turn out to a March 25, 1995 rally in Cuero, Texas, to see if they would be arrested or shot.

Roland himself subsequently told this news service that Evans-Pritchard had put him "in touch with intelligence agents from around the world," and they had together set up various agents in charge of militia groups in the Midwest and Texas. One of these agents, self-proclaimed former Naval Intelligence man Brad Glover, was arrested in July 1997 on charges of plotting to bomb a military base.

Jon Roland, a professed "world federalist," now takes part with Vanderboegh, a professed "former Maoist," in the Sipsey Street Irregulars blog, boosting the end of the United States for their "old compadre" Evans-Pritchard.

Their British manager comes by his role with foreign dupes by family tradition. His father, Sir Edward Evan Evans-Pritchard, studied the irrationality of African native religions that would make them vulnerable to British imperial control, and later ran native troops for the British Intelligence Service, MI6.

LATER: Threeper Eric sends this:

There’s a man who lives a life of danger
Lefties tellin’ lies and he’s no stranger
With every move he makes
The SPLC conflates
Odds are he’ll be on Hardball tomorrow

Secret, AAAygent Man
Secret, AAAygent Man
A few more windows broken
And he gets all the blame

Beware the old man’s on disability
Takes his cane so he can walk the street
Be careful what you say
He might post it right away
We’ll see you on Sipsey Street tomorrow

Popping caps at Knob Creek range on Monday
Marching on the DC mall on Friday
“Now paging R.A. Bear!”
They’re running everywhere
Odds are he can’t end Absolved tomorrow

Secret, AAAygent Man
Secret, AAAygent Man
A few more windows broken
And he gets all the blame


Anonymous said...

That infowarz huckster says you work for the imperials too! Woo hoo! Double dipping!
Who says there's a recession on?

Old Pablo said...

This is so dense I couldn't make it through in one reading. A good conspiracy theory is much much simpler.

Anonymous said...

It is a "F&%King" free for all out there in the "propaganda---I mean NEWS Reporting Biz" I guess.

If those out there breathing AIR have not figured out that WAR IS and HAS been Raging for quite sometime now then you need to extract your head from your posterior and listen for the LOUD POP!(clear sign you are now awakened!) Can YOU spell PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE? I can!



Anonymous said...

Oh my dear Lord. A limey bastard, right here in our midst!!

Seriously, where do some people come up with this crap?

Anonymous said...

Is peeltheonion another pen name for Sorcha Faal?

Lot's of creative fiction in that article much like Sorcha's pieces...

Taylor H said...

My only question is...do you have a Walther PPK? :)

This can't be taken seriously, but it would make a GREAT satire.

rexxhead said...

Aha!! So that's where you get your writing ability from... I mean... whence you get your writing ability.

I thought it was a little odd that someone from Pinson AL could spell words correctly. Why, even the local newspaper messes up your name...

This explains a lot, but 'a lot of what' is yet to be determined.

Crustyrusty said...

I want some of what this guy is smoking.

Really :-)

E said...


Anonymous said...

Off Topic I know. But incase you hadnt heard. Another sad moment for America.

Border-Guarding Minutemen Disband
Tuesday, 30 Mar 2010 07:58 AM


God bless America sir.


Anonymous said...

So would that make you 003?


sonofliberty said...

wow really?


thanks for the good laugh mike. in light of everything else thats been going on, some levity was needed today.

Anonymous said...

What has this nitwit been smoking?

Santander said...

Having met and talked with you once, I must say it is all clear now.
Only now do I realize that how fake your American accent was. ;-)

Jokes aside... these "assertions" or "accusations" or whatever they are... are kinda out of hand. Where are they coming from? The Onion?


drjim said...

Truly bizarre!

Dedicated_Dad said...


More "professional journalism".

It'd be funny if it weren't so damn sad...

Anonymous said...

Mike, I had no idea that you were a "Double Ought spy" like Jethro Bowdeen. Maybe Dash Riprock will let you borrow the Crabmobile!

I think the lunatic who wrote that "investigative" piece will probably be offered a position as a staff analyst at the Southern Preposterous Lie Center.

Carl Bussjaeger said...

Cool. Do you get a cute little Walther PPK and neato gadgets?

Methinks someone in NJ needs a tinfoil overcoat to go with the shiny hat.

jon said...

double-oh-threeper, at your service?

Dakota said...

Goooolllllly.... you British agents always get the pretty girls and the best assignments. I wonder what the regular agents are doing to keep themselves busy.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Well here's another CNN rip grouping you into the same batch of mental militia, 'hatriots':

Anonymous said...

"A British agent named Mike Vanderboegh (sic)..."

What! I thought you were a *Dutch* secret agent. Who knew?


Daniel said...

Do you miss "Q" as much as I do?


thedweeze said...

Next, I'll read someone claiming you take your Metatmucil shaken, not stirred.


icr said...

It's written in LaRouchian.

frosty2 said...

I know I should be gazing at the screen with a dour and serious look on my face bemoaning what passes for published information these days -- but I can't stop chuckling long enough.

Anonymous said...

What fucking clowns. Don't they know you work for Mossad?

johnnyreb said...

"Hey Bubba, we gots us one o' them thar secretive agents!"

If you're gonna play Jethro, can I be Uncle Jed? He's the one with the cash.

If they're stooping to this, you must have them scared shitless.

restoretheconstitution said...

That disability check is a cover, as was your release from your volunteer teaching, wasn't it? Fess up!!!



Dan said...

You mean you really ain't Dutch?
Man, all my heroes are falling!

Ahab said...

Well, alrighty then! One thing is certain, that if the raid on the nuts in MI was a masterstroke, then you better watch your six, Mike. Set the stage, employ misdirection, and then strike from an oblique position. They've set the stage, with that raid, the misdirection is to get all LEOs wary of militia, and then the final phase. They're going to be coming after you soon, old son, so keep your eyes peeled.

Moe Death said...

Let us know what life is like when you get to "The Village," which was Secret Agent Man's fate. You'll be Number Three, of course...


P.S. Can I have your Aston Martin? Or just the Aston Martini?

Federico Metamucilage said...

I have to give tonights prize to The Dweeze... Metamucil, shaken, not stirred.

Of course, it reminds me of the famous outtake ad-lib by Connery, when he said with a straight face, "I want a woman who will be stirred, but not shaken."

Is this 'peel the onion' like a Brit version of The Onion here in the States, the sometimes excruciatingly funny parody website?

Anonymous said...

God save the queen...

What the Effen eff?!?

I do like to read Lord Rees Mogg. He has been down with the freedom thing before it was cool. "The Soveiregn Individual" was a good read.


James Earl "Jesse" Jackson said...

PS - Could you get me a couple of those thermite ballpoints and the switchblade thingie in the shoe, like the one Janet Reno Kleb used?
They would be great at parties.
Up the Republic -

chinasyndrome said...

Vanderboegh Mike Vanderboegh agent 30-06 with her Majesty's secret service. Anything to keep the public occupied.


Anonymous said...

Now U R FAMOUS !!!!


Terrapod said...

Eh, has April 1st gone by without my noticing? Great satire, greater game.

Anonymous said...

The only time your cover will ever be blown is when someone pinches the lid off yer coffin...RUST IN PEACE TILL SECRET GENT OOPS AGENT

Gaviota said...

Seems I dimly remember a quote from somewhere back in the late 1800's, where a famous old train robber laughed over the fact that if he had committed all of the robberies that he was reported to have in the papers, he would have had to have been in eight different places at once.

You're getting to that point, Mike. So far you've been accused of sedition, fomenting revolution, and at the same time being a US Government agent, as well as a British agent. And all without a single paycheck, hot car, hotter girl, or even leaving Pinson, Alabama.

Pretty good for a home town boy.

patriot_ohio said...

Wow, just wow.

I'm not going to be able to get off the floor for the next few hours. I bet he got paid the big bucks to write that up. LOL.

Skip said...

Mike, would you post a photo of Miss Moneypenny in cammies?

Dedicated_Dad said...

Damn guy beat me to the lyrics - I heard "secret agent man" in my head the instant I read the headline...


Weaver said...

Actually ironic as hell. They seriously underestimated Mike. All this attention will be used to educate people, the ultimate weapon against these thugs.


Son of Sam Adams said...

"Vanderboegh vilifies Abraham Lincoln as a mass murderer"

What, you mean he wasn't??
Somehow, out of the whole wild piece of fiction, that seems like the most off-the-wall line.

irishdutchuncle said...

aren't there any rational anglophobes out there?

MamaLiberty said...

Dang - it's getting more and more difficult to distinguish satire from "reality."

But we did need a good laugh. :)

003per - Good deal. Bond can't hold a candle to you, Mike. :)

Anonymous said...

Mike Vanderboegh, International Man of Mystery!


ReverendFranz said...

Hey Mike, is the book mentioned in the article even real? do you know? Id be interesting in "fact checking" it.

drjim said...

Yes, it's real, and available from Amazon.com
Mine should be here any day now.