Sipsey Street Irregulars: Groundhog Strikes Blow For Second Amendment, Bites Mike Bloomberg.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Groundhog Strikes Blow For Second Amendment, Bites Mike Bloomberg.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg holds Staten Island Chuck for the big crowd to see this morning at the Staten Island Zoo Monday, February 2, 2009. Chuck is so underwhelmed by events, he takes a chunk out of Bloomberg's hand.

As reported in "Newsday, Staten Island Chuck (aka Charles G. Hogg) drew blood from anti-gun New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg during a Groundhog Day ceremony today. Unfortunately there was no possibility of Mike getting rabies, for Chuck has lived a lonely, animal companion-free existence since he was born. Here's how Newsday reported it, but they lacked a crucial piece of information provided Sipsey Street Irregulars.

Groundhog bites Bloomberg at ceremony

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS and NEWSDAY

1:50 PM EST, February 2, 2009

Mayor Michael Bloomberg paid a visit to an apparently-disgruntled constituent nicknamed 'Staten Island Chuck' on Groundhog's Day -- and got bit for his trouble.

Staten Island's famous groundhog, Charles G. Hogg, inexplicably bit Mayor Bloomberg during his annual holiday ceremony on Monday, drawing blood from the billionaire.

Said Bloomberg spokesman Stu Loeser: "It nicked his hand."

Bloomberg wrapped the cut with a napkin until he could check with his doctor.

He was told there was no risk of rabies. The 2-year-old animal was born and raised in captivity and has had no interaction with other animals

People's Exhibit #1: Evidence found in Charles G. Hogg's cage.

New York City Mayoral Protective Detail officers also recovered this from suspect Hogg's residence.

It would seem, gentle readers, that Steve Lauer, President of Wisconsin-based Lauer Custom Weaponry of Chippewa Falls may have some explaining to do.

Staten Island Chuck in happier days before his alleged assault on Mayor Bloomberg.

Preparations are under way to start a legal defense fund for Mr. Hogg, although the NRA declines to get involved, saying that they are entirely too focused on the more important task of promoting their wine list to help at this time.

Meanwhile, spontaneous demonstrations by New York schoolchildren are protesting Chuck's placement in home detention while he is awaiting trial. Melissa Scheuer, a third grader at PS 1345, denounced Mayor Bloomberg, saying "he's a nasty old man anyway and besides, it was self-defense. If he grabbed me like that, I'd bite him too!"

"Free Chuck! Free Chuck!" chant elementary school children in support of political prisoner Charles G. Hogg.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...: I'm more concerned for the rodent...chuck that is getting rabies.

Sad that the poor animal had to learn the hard way that shit sandwichs are real.; February 3, 2009 at 1:05 AM
Dakota said...: Too bad it wasn't me that bit him, would have been a bloody stump. Then I could have gone for the rabies shot. LOL; February 3, 2009 at 8:56 AM
Anonymous said...: Charles G. Hogg...bit Mayor Bloomberg...drawing blood from the billionaire.

Heh. To paraphrase Leonidas speaking with Xerces, "The world will know, that even a billionaire can bleed."; February 3, 2009 at 9:03 AM
jon said...: oh yeah, speaking of that wine list, i think they forgot one important selection.; February 3, 2009 at 10:08 AM
Anonymous said...: oh my god you guys get me laughing.; February 4, 2009 at 1:45 AM

"Progress made under the shadow of the policeman's club is false progress."

I believe that liberty is the only genuinely valuable thing that men have invented, at least in the field of government, in a thousand years. I believe that it is better to be free than to be not free, even when the former is dangerous and the latter safe. I believe that the finest qualities of man can flourish only in free air – that progress made under the shadow of the policeman's club is false progress, and of no permanent value. I believe that any man who takes the liberty of another into his keeping is bound to become a tyrant, and that any man who yields up his liberty, in however slight the measure, is bound to become a slave. -- H.L. Mencken

"The Fate of Unborn Millions. . ."

"The time is now near at hand which must probably determine, whether Americans are to be, Freemen, or Slaves; whether they are to have any property they can call their own; whether their Houses, and Farms, are to be pillaged and destroyed, and they consigned to a State of Wretchedness from which no human efforts will probably deliver them. The fate of unborn Millions will now depend, under God, on the Courage and Conduct of this army-Our cruel and unrelenting Enemy leaves us no choice but a brave resistance, or the most abject submission; that is all we can expect-We have therefore to resolve to conquer or die." -- George Washington to his troops before the Battle of Long Island.

"We will not go gently . . ."

This is no small thing, to restore a republic after it has fallen into corruption. I have studied history for years and I cannot recall it ever happening. It may be that our task is impossible. Yet, if we do not try then how will we know it can't be done? And if we do not try, it most certainly won't be done. The Founders' Republic, and the larger war for western civilization, will be lost.

But I tell you this: We will not go gently into that bloody collectivist good night. Indeed, we will make with our defiance such a sound as ALL history from that day forward will be forced to note, even if they despise us in the writing of it.

And when we are gone, the scattered, free survivors hiding in the ruins of our once-great republic will sing of our deeds in forbidden songs, tending the flickering flame of individual liberty until it bursts forth again, as it must, generations later. We will live forever, like the Spartans at Thermopylae, in sacred memory.

-- Mike Vanderboegh, The Lessons of Mumbai:Death Cults, the "Socialism of Imbeciles" and Refusing to Submit, 1 December 2008

"A common language of resistance . . ."

"Colonial rebellions throughout the modern world have been acts of shared political imagination. Unless unhappy people develop the capacity to trust other unhappy people, protest remains a local affair easily silenced by traditional authority. Usually, however, a moment arrives when large numbers of men and women realize for the first time that they enjoy the support of strangers, ordinary people much like themselves who happen to live in distant places and whom under normal circumstances they would never meet. It is an intoxicating discovery. A common language of resistance suddenly opens to those who are most vulnerable to painful retribution the possibility of creating a new community. As the conviction of solidarity grows, parochial issues and aspirations merge imperceptibly with a compelling national agenda which only a short time before may have been the dream of only a few. For many Americans colonists this moment occurred late in the spring of 1774." -- T.H. Breen, The Marketplace of Revolution: How Consumer Politics Shaped American Independence, Oxford University Press, 2004, p.1.

Sipsey Street Irregulars

Monday, February 2, 2009

Groundhog Strikes Blow For Second Amendment, Bites Mike Bloomberg.

5 comments:

Blog Archive

Followers