As reported in "Newsday, Staten Island Chuck (aka Charles G. Hogg) drew blood from anti-gun New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg during a Groundhog Day ceremony today. Unfortunately there was no possibility of Mike getting rabies, for Chuck has lived a lonely, animal companion-free existence since he was born. Here's how Newsday reported it, but they lacked a crucial piece of information provided Sipsey Street Irregulars.
Groundhog bites Bloomberg at ceremony
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS and NEWSDAY
1:50 PM EST, February 2, 2009
Mayor Michael Bloomberg paid a visit to an apparently-disgruntled constituent nicknamed 'Staten Island Chuck' on Groundhog's Day -- and got bit for his trouble.
Staten Island's famous groundhog, Charles G. Hogg, inexplicably bit Mayor Bloomberg during his annual holiday ceremony on Monday, drawing blood from the billionaire.
Said Bloomberg spokesman Stu Loeser: "It nicked his hand."
Bloomberg wrapped the cut with a napkin until he could check with his doctor.
He was told there was no risk of rabies. The 2-year-old animal was born and raised in captivity and has had no interaction with other animals
People's Exhibit #1: Evidence found in Charles G. Hogg's cage.
New York City Mayoral Protective Detail officers also recovered this from suspect Hogg's residence.
It would seem, gentle readers, that Steve Lauer, President of Wisconsin-based Lauer Custom Weaponry of Chippewa Falls may have some explaining to do.
Staten Island Chuck in happier days before his alleged assault on Mayor Bloomberg.
Preparations are under way to start a legal defense fund for Mr. Hogg, although the NRA declines to get involved, saying that they are entirely too focused on the more important task of promoting their wine list to help at this time.
Meanwhile, spontaneous demonstrations by New York schoolchildren are protesting Chuck's placement in home detention while he is awaiting trial. Melissa Scheuer, a third grader at PS 1345, denounced Mayor Bloomberg, saying "he's a nasty old man anyway and besides, it was self-defense. If he grabbed me like that, I'd bite him too!"
"Free Chuck! Free Chuck!" chant elementary school children in support of political prisoner Charles G. Hogg.